


Myosotis Scorpioides // Forget Me Not

by Pyriphlegethons



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alpha Shiro (Voltron), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amnesia, Angst, Awkward Shiro (Voltron), Established Relationship, Eventual Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Masturbation, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Omega Keith (Voltron), Shiro can't control his feelings, light feminization for Keith, mention of miscarriage, to sexy pics of Keith, word vomit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2019-08-26 22:29:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16690120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pyriphlegethons/pseuds/Pyriphlegethons
Summary: Shiro's perfect life is taken and erased from his memory within moments.Keith is there to help him remember.





	1. Chapter 1

Shiro had always been an early riser, ever since he could remember. He loved to wake up to the dull sunshine peeking through the clouds as it rose in the morning, before heading out for a morning run. By the time he was back, Keith would already be awake and showered. The omega picked up on Shiro’s habit of waking up early years ago when they first began to date each other. Few things made Shiro happier than seeing Keith, and after a good run around the damp streets of their neighborhood, having a hot cup of coffee prepared perfectly by his mate made Shiro’s heart soar high. 

 

Gentle morning kisses that tasted like minty toothpaste had become one of Shiro’s favorite things to experience. Gazing into lovely purple irises before being dragged back to the bedroom was another thing that Shiro was fond of. Lazily making love to the most beautiful omega to walk the earth was the greatest feeling, and the warmth he felt from being inside of Keith stayed with Shiro for the rest of the day. 

 

He had a routine. Wake up, run, drink coffee, have morning sex with Keith, shower, and then make breakfast. Keith was a terror in the kitchen and somehow managed to catch everything that touched the stove on fire. Shiro wasn’t the greatest chef ever, but he could made a mean stack of pancakes that he and Keith both would inhale while chattering about everything and nothing. Shiro loved everything about his life, and especially his life with Keith.

 

They shared a beautiful one story house with two beds, two baths, and a finished basement. Shiro and Keith occupied the master bedroom, and the guest room was turned into a study for the alpha. Shiro’s books and journals lined the walls in dark brown shelves with a glossy finish, and he kept all his important files in that room. Shiro would primarily work from home, but on occasion he’d head out ot visit the office and make sure everything was up and running as it should. He was well liked, he was happy, he loved every waking moment of his life. 

 

Keith had to head out to his office at around 10:00 AM, and he wouldn’t be home until 6:00 PM. Shiro helped pack Keith a healthy lunch and kissed him when his beautiful omega was on his way out the door. Hate to see him leave, but love to watch him go, so they say. Shiro always gave a greedy pinch to his mate’s plump cheek, and loved the smile that flashed his way after Keith jumped in surprise. Every single day, and he still never expects it. 

 

Ideally, Shiro would want to move up one more position in his office ladder. He could support himself and Keith all alone on his current pay, comfortably in fact, but there was nothing wrong with wanting to go a little higher. Keith loved to work, but once he expressed a desire to start a family with Shiro, that was when the alpha knew he wanted to take all worries out of Keith’s hands.

 

About an hour or so after sitting down at his desk, Shiro got a call. He’d been typing up an email to the corporate office that owned the particular establishment he worked for, but apparently it would have to wait a little longer before he could finish. Answering the phone, he already didn’t like the way his assistant manager sounded. Trouble training new employees, people calling off, and more minor inconveniences. Shiro was suited up in minutes and had his sooty black hair slicked back nicely. 

 

He’d often been told he was intimidating; because of his appearance and nature. Alphas like Takashi Shirogane commanded attention without speaking a single word. That alone helped him climb the ladder of success, alongside an already strict work ethic. Shiro had plans for himself and Keith, had dreams he wanted to accomplish, and he wouldn’t get there by slacking off. So, locking the door and starting his car, Shiro was heading down to the office. His drive took about twenty minutes if the traffic wasn’t too hectic, which it unfortunately was when he got to the dreaded four-way intersection about halfway through his commute. 

 

Shiro sighed when the light finally turned green, after an entirely too long red light. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a car driving across the street, running their red light, and with all the cars and commotion and people trying to swerve out of the way…

 

What happened after that?   
  
Everything was dark and droning, like he’d been sleeping for too long. But, Shiro never slept in? His body felt heavy, his face hurt, and he could hear the indistinct chattering of people around him. The noise travelled in and out of his ears, all around his head, and he forced his eyes open with a groan. Nothing made sense to him. Doctors stood, slack jawed, beside his bed. Why was he hooked up to so many machines? Why was he in a hospital? What happened?

 

Shiro turned his head and saw someone else beside him. Black hair, violet eyes, and he held a strong omega scent. His heart pounded in his chest. Shiro’s breath hitched and he struggled to try and sit up, but his body was just too sore for that. Instead, he chose to keep staring at the stranger who sat beside him.

 

“Shiro?” The omega asked, and oh lord, his voice was sweet like a spoonful of sugar. “Shiro, how do you feel?”

 

“Amazing.” Shiro whispered, and a smile worked onto his lips. Why did he feel so happy, just looking at this boy? “That’s a lie, actually. My whole body hurts. What happened?”

 

The omega reached out and placed a hand on Shiro’s and he noticed the diamond ring on his finger. Damn. Of course the most beautiful person in the world was already married and mated. “You’re at the hospital. You had an accident, baby. You hurt your head really bad and were out for a few days.”

 

Wait a moment.

Baby?

 

Shiro raised an eyebrow at the omega. “Uhh… okay?” He replied, not sure how to take the sudden use of  _ baby _ from a married omega. “What happened to me? Did I get hit in the head by a football?” 

 

“You were in a car crash.” The doctor interrupted. He had a clipboard and a pen in hand and was seating himself in the other chair beside Shiro’s bed. “I need to ask a few questions.” 

 

“Okay. Shoot.” He felt a little better now, knowing what happened. However, Shiro  was a little worried about how he truly had  _ no _ idea of what day it was, or where he was going. 

 

“First question: What is your full name?” The doctor started.

 

“Takashi Shirogane.”

 

“Good.” He scribbled on his paper. “Day you were born?”

 

“February 29th. Leap year.”

 

Nodding, the doctor continued. “Place you were born, and current city you live in.”

 

“I was born in Osaka, Japan and I currently live in Phoenix, Arizona.” Shiro answered confidently. So far, so good, if the nods and pencil scribbles are anything to go by.

 

“What is the name of your mate?”

 

Shiro almost barked out a laugh. “I’m not mated.” He said, hardly containing his chuckles. How ridiculous was that? Him, mated! “I’m only twenty-five. I don’t even have an omega I’m interested in.” Now, that, seemed to get a strong reaction from the doctor and the omega sitting beside him. Small, warm hands gripped the alpha’s firmly and he leaned in. “Hm? What happened?”

 

“Mr. Shirogane, are you sure you’re not married?” The doctor asked. “What did you say your age was, again?”

 

The whole situation was getting stranger and stranger. Shiro gently pulled his hand away from the pretty omega, before looking back to the doctor. “I’m single and I’m twenty-five years old.”

 

“Shiro,” The omega’s sweet voice called out, and the alpha turned to meet his gaze. “Do you know me? What’s my name?” He asked, words coming out watery and sad. Purple eyes were glassy and wet, and it pulled tight on Shiro’s heartstrings.

 

“Um…” Guilt welled up inside of Shiro, but he didn’t know why. “No, I can’t say I know who you are?” He said. “I’ve never seen you before. You’re really beautiful, though.” His eyes suddenly felt hot and tears dripped off his lashes when the omega let out a broken, half sob. “Hey, hey,” Shiro held his hands up to take the omega’s again. “I didn’t… no, I’m good at remembering faces. There’s no way I forgot about you if we’ve met before. Who are you? Why are you crying so much?”

 

“My name is Keith.” The omega said, between sniffles and sobs. “I’m - I’m your mate. I married you.” 

 

Keith’s words felt like a million tons dropping into Shiro’s stomach. He had a husband? A mate? Shiro was  _ married? _

 

“This is a joke. You’re fucking with me.” Shiro said, but his eyes were still wet and dripping hot tears onto his cheeks. “I’ve been single since high school. I don’t have time to date, let alone get married.”

 

“Mr. Shirogane…” The doctor slowly interrupted, bringing the alpha’s attention back to him. “You’re thirty-two years old. Keith, here, is your mate. We have it all on record. Do you know your occupation?”

 

“Wait, wait!” Shiro forced himself to sit up now, aches and pains be damned. His skin felt hot and he was  _ crying  _ and he was  _ tired _ . “I’m  _ not _ in my thirties. I’m in college. I’m graduating this summer, I’m -” The alpha stopped and felt panic welling up inside his gut. What was  _ happening? _

 

The omega, Keith, got up and left in one quick motion. Shiro had watched him leave and felt a horrible pull to run and chase after him. For what reason? Shiro wasn’t married. This was a prank. It had to be. There was no way any of this was real. This wasn’t happening. 

 

The doctor sighed and crossed his legs. “I know a lot is happening right now. I just need to ask you a few more questions and then we need to run a few tests.” He scribbled more notes down, before shuffling the papers on his clipboard around. He looked a lot more serious, with a stern face and furrowed brow. “What was the last thing you remember doing?”

 

“Taking my midterm for my physics class.” Shiro answered, with no hesitation. 

 

“You don’t remember driving your car?” 

 

“I don’t even own a car. I live on campus and bike everywhere I need to go.” Shiro again, replied hastily. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on, but just tell me already if this is a joke or something.” 

 

“This isn’t a joke.” The doctor said. “You seem to have at least some memory loss from your car accident. Do you have a job? Where are you employed?” 

 

“I’m not working. My parents are helping me so I can focus on school.” Shiro felt defeated, and tired. He rubbed at his cheeks and felt tears spreading onto his hands. Why did he even start crying?

 

The doctor stayed silent longer, and longer, just jotting down note after note as he continued to bombard Shiro with questions. He stood after a long moment of silence after the final question, and stepped out of the room without much else. Shiro watched the door, waiting for  _ something  _ to help ease his mind. When the door opened back up again, only Keith walked back inside.

 

Shiro’s heart began to pound in his chest and he felt a warm glow wash over him the moment he locked eyes with the omega. Keith sat back down beside him, where he was before, and the alpha didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t married to Keith. He didn’t even know Keith. But, his heart was thumping and his skin was tingling at just the sight of him. Keith’s voice moved things in Shiro that never had been moved in that way before. He wanted to reach out and hold Keith, but how could he? Nothing felt worse than seeing that sad gaze, those irritated eyes that were red and puffy from crying. Shiro’s never felt more shitty, and there was nothing he could do to fix it. 

 

“Keith -”

 

“They’re going to do an MRI to check your brain for trauma.” Keith said, refusing to meet Shiro’s gaze. “The doctor said if everything looks fine… well, as fine as it  _ can _ look, then you’ll be able to come home.” The omega’s voice softened and his hands tensed in his lap. “I guess it won’t really be home to you, though.”

 

He was right. Shiro nodded along, because he couldn’t disagree. “Home” wasn’t with Keith, as far as Shiro could remember. Home was with his mother and father, home was his dorm room, home was anywhere but with Keith. Keith was a stranger to him. “I should probably stay with my parents when I’m discharged.”

 

Keith’s entire body tensed at Shiro’s words, but he nodded anyway. “Right.” If a mouse could speak, Shiro imagined that’s what Keith sounded like. Words left breathy and almost inaudible, and the alpha struggled to hear Keith’s words. Keith stood when the doctor and two nurses re-entered the room to help Shiro out of bed, unhooking him from the machines, and taking him to get his MRI. Keith couldn’t stop the hard bite he gave his lower lip as he followed them, to wait out in the hallway.

The MRI took not as long as Shiro was expecting. Then again, he had no idea how the thing even worked to begin with. The scan of his brain was complete, the doctor confirmed he had to have sustained trauma to the brain because of the accident, and that in turn affected Shiro’s memories; the hippocampus, specifically. Thankfully, Shiro would otherwise be fine. 

 

During the whole ordeal of Shiro’s belongings, he finally got to look at himself in the mirror of his bathroom. He looked older, he even had a few stray hairs that were going gray. A huge bruise was stretched across his nose, along with a stitched up gash that a nurse said would definitely scar. Great. He was given instructions of tending to it, and to come back in about a week to have his stitches removed. Keith was given the same instructions, in case Shiro forgot.

 

It was awkward walking by himself, given how tired his body and legs were. Keith made an offhand comment about how lucky Shiro was to not have broken any bones or gotten any serious physical injuries, but silence fell on them once again when they finished putting Shiro’s things in Keith’s car.

 

The omega drove them back home in silence. Shiro made no attempts to start a conversation or even turn on the radio. He didn’t even know what to say to Keith. He didn’t know what Keith liked, what he did for a living,  _ anything. _ So, it was quiet. A heavy tension floated between them like Keith was dying to say something to the alpha, but he kept warring with himself on if he should or not. Ultimately, Keith didn’t say a single thing until they pulled up to a beautiful house in a lovely suburban neighborhood. 

 

“We’re here.” Keith said before quickly getting out of the car. He grabbed Shiro’s bags out of the backseat and rushed to the front door.

 

Shiro followed behind slowly. He took his time admiring the house and the beautiful yard, before stepping inside. The whole house was gorgeous. White walls covered in photos and painted canvases, a light colored wood floor devoid of dust, and big open archways leading between each room in the house. Shiro felt at home somewhere so unfamiliar to him. It was a rustic dream home. 

 

After a moment of admiring the very cozy and lived in house, Shiro found Keith in the kitchen making a pot of coffee. The omega had his back to Shiro, and the alpha could only stare for a moment. Feelings kept rushing into his heart and stomach whenever he had a moment to really admire Keith, and it was as relaxing as it was uncomfortable. Two feelings that should never coexist somehow are making themselves a home inside of Shiro’s heart.

 

“How do you feel?” Keith asked once he finally turned, two mugs of coffee in hand. He set one on the kitchen table, before seating himself with his own. The coffee in his was black while Shiro’s was a light, sweet color. “I… I’m sorry if it’s. A lot to take in.”

 

Sitting down, Shiro blew some steam off his coffee before taking a sip. It was perfect. “I feel confused.” He said, simply. “The house is amazing, though. It’s really big, really comfortable.” 

 

Keith let a small smile tug his lips, before he buried it behind his mug. “You let me pick out all the furniture. I’m glad you still like it, even… you know. With everything happening.” His eyes lifted to meet the alpha’s for only a moment before he dropped them down and took a long sip of his coffee.

 

“I let you…? Oh. Yeah.” Shiro nodded. “We’re, uh. Married, you said.” He trailed his thumb over the rim of his mug, staring at the black ceramic and how impossibly shiny it seemed to be. “I know you’re probably… hoping I’ll stay here, to try and remember everything. But, I don't know if I can. I don’t think I should stay here.”

 

Silence found a way between them again. Keith set his mug on the table and he turned to open up one of the bags that held Shiro’s belongings. He rummaged through it for a moment before he slid a ring across the wood-top table, setting it before Shiro. “Your wedding ring.” He said, softly. “It was one of the first things I made sure I got when I found out you were in a car accident. I was scared of losing you and not having this, at least.” 

 

Shiro picked it up carefully and slid it on his left ring finger, and he wasn’t sure why he was surprised that it fit just right. “It’s really lovely.” Was all Shiro could say. He felt incredibly awkward around Keith. Partly because he was worried of upsetting him, and because he didn’t  _ know _ Keith. Even though, apparently he did know him, very intimately. “I’m sorry. I really think I need to call my parents and see if they’ll let me stay with them.”

 

Keith tensed again like he did back at the hospital. It made Shiro’s eyebrow quirk up at seeing the same reaction twice. “Shiro…” The omega breathed out shakily, hand rubbing over his cheek and pushing soft hair back as he avoided eye contact. “You can’t stay with your parents.” He finally said, while bringing both hands back to his coffee cup. “Um… A year after we got married, your mom passed away. Two years ago, your dad passed away too.” Keith’s voice shook and he tried his best to speak while looking Shiro in the eyes, but it was difficult for him to maintain it. 

 

The news hit Shiro like a brick to the back of his head. A knife to his chest. Any possible analogy Shiro could come up with to describe complete and total emotional pain. That was how he felt. He held his head in both hands, being careful to not put too much pressure on his bruised and injured face. Sobs came out before Shiro even had enough time to process what Keith was telling him. His parents, both of his parents, weren’t alive? He just saw them yesterday! Shiro remembered being at their house, he helped his dad work on the yard, he - 

 

Shiro couldn’t remember much after that. He saw his parents just yesterday, but how many years had it really been? Seven? Seven years went by since the memory he had of his “yesterday”. How many more memories did he have with his parents that he couldn’t even remember?

 

Keith reached a hand out and Shiro took it. He held it, finding comfort in the warmth it had, but he kept on weeping and sobbing. “I didn’t want to tell you at the hospital. I didn’t want to do that to you in front of so many people.” Keith explained. “I’m so sorry, Shiro. I’m sorry.” 

 

While Shiro understood why, he couldn’t help the feeling of total helplessness that overcame him. Today was, absolutely, the worst day of his entire fucking life. He woke up a thirty-two year old married man with no parents, when just yesterday he was twenty-five and in college. No more family left to speak of, nothing, not even a friend who he could remember. He only had Keith. A total stranger who happened to be his husband. 

 

“I, I think I need to lay down for a bit. I need to - I need to get my thoughts and emotions sorted out.” Shiro babbled out between heavy sobs. Keith was standing by his side in seconds, helping him up and accepting the tight hug Shiro gave him. There was a safeness with Keith in his arms, but perhaps that was only because Keith was the one person Shiro had right now. He had nothing else but this omega.

 

“Shiro.” Keith started, once the hug broke. “Lay down on the couch for a bit. I’ll get you something to eat, and you can take your time with this. Okay?”

 

“Okay.” The alpha let Keith lead him to the plush couch that sat in the living room, and Shiro fell into it. Keith’s warm hands left his arm to cover him with a blanket and supply him with a few throw pillows to rest against and squeeze tightly. 

 

“I’ll be right back, ba- Shiro.” Keith’s eyes shut tightly when he tripped over the affectionate term, and he rushed out of the living room to hide from the embarrassment. He grabbed a tissue box from the closet just outside of the bathroom, and he then wandered into Shiro’s study. Bookshelves lined the walls and Keith knew exactly where to find the scrapbooks he had made years ago, for his husband. The omega plucked it out of it’s spot and he made his way back to Shiro’s side on the couch, handing both the box and book to him. “Here, take these.”

 

Nodding, Shiro eagerly used a tissue on his eyes before flipping the book around in his hands. “What is it?” He asked, before opening it and seeing pretty calligraphy on the first page. “Our memories.” Shiro read out loud, before he closed it and looked at Keith with a tired sigh. “I can’t - Keith, I’m not ready to be looking at this. I need some more time to get used to everything.”

 

Taking the book, Keith opened it with a frown. “There’s pictures of your parents in here.” He said. “That’s why I grabbed it. I made it for you when your dad passed away.” Keith placed the book back in Shiro’s hand after flipping through a few pages. “This is the last photo we had of them both together.” 

 

Shiro stared at the picture Keith was pointing to, in the center of one of the pages. In it, was his parents standing beside himself and Keith. “Was this…?”

 

“Our wedding day.” Keith replied. “After the ceremony.”

 

Nodding, Shiro gently grazed his fingers over the page as more tears welled up in his eyes. In the photograph, Shiro was dressed in a formal black suit and Keith in a white dress with a bouquet of red roses in his hands. “You look good.” He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood at least a little bit. “Wow. We’re married.” He said, feeling more emotions wash over him.

 

“Yeah.” Keith sighed. “I’m sorry. You were right, I shouldn’t have showed you this yet. You’ve already had a lot to take in today.” Reaching out, Keith moved to take the book back from Shiro, only to have the alpha stop him with a gentle hand. “What?”

 

“I want to keep looking at it.” Shiro whispered as he flipped back to the front page. “I want to see our memories together. Maybe it’ll… help me, or something.” He mused.

 

Keith’s gaze moved from Shiro’s face, back down to the book. The first picture after the title page was of the two of them on their first date, with the day and year scribbled below it. “The doctor did say that exposure therapy for amnesia doesn’t usually work.” He mumbled as the alpha turned the page. The next picture was of Shiro shirtless beside a pool, with Matt Holt standing next to him. “I remember this. Matt pushed you in after I took the picture.” Keith laughed.

 

“I’m glad to see Matt and I are still friends.” Shiro replied, ignoring the comment Keith made about exposure therapy. “We are, right? That didn’t change?” He asked, looking to Keith, who nodded. “Good. Thank god.” He gazed down at other pictures on the pages, of Keith and himself, of them with other friends, some of which he didn’t recognize. Keith identified them as Lance, Pidge, Hunk, and Allura as they encountered them. 

 

“This is our first Christmas together.” Keith smiled as he pointed at a picture of Shiro kissing him, with Lance holding a mistletoe above them. “Also, our first kiss. I was always too shy to initiate.” He sighed happily as he recounted the memory, which left Shiro feeling hollow that he couldn’t remember it at all. “This was such a fun night.”

 

“I wish I could remember it.” Shiro murmured, before going to the next page. “I’m glad that you… we, took so many pictures of our life.” He said, turning to a picture of Keith standing in a pile of snow that went up to his knees, a big smile on his face. Shiro was behind him, holding a snowball as large as the omega’s head. “Where was this?”

 

“New York. We went there for new years.” Keith smiled, and absentmindedly rested his cheek on Shiro’s shoulder. “You dumped that snowball on my head and I chased you around until you slipped. You broke your arm.” He laughed, turning the page to show Shiro a picture of him in a hospital bed. “We didn’t get to go to Time Square, but we watched the ball drop at the hospital T.V..” Keith hummed, and his eyes glanced over a picture of the two of them kissing, right below the one of Shiro in the hospital bed. “That was a nice vacation, aside from you breaking your arm.”

 

Shiro felt a rumble in his chest the longer Keith’s head was on his shoulder. Hearing the fondness in his voice, the way he spoke so calmly and patiently, stirred up a slow purr. Shiro never purred, or at least he didn’t think he ever would. It was an odd sensation, but he let it happen. Keith probably needed this, just like Shiro needed comfort too. “How long in does this go?” He asked.

 

“About two years.” Keith replied. “We got married after dating for two years, so the wedding pictures start about half way in. Most of the second half of this scrapbook is wedding pictures.” He moved his head to glance up at Shiro. “Did you want to look at more, or…?” 

 

Staying still for a moment, Shiro nodded. “After this one.” He said, turning the page. “You can show me more. I want to hear more about us.” He trailed over pictures of a life he couldn’t remember, taking the time to admire little details in each photograph. The way he looked at Keith, the way Keith looked at him, the way they both seemed to glow in every moment captured of them together. “It’s… weird, seeing myself doing this. It’s crazy because I can’t remember and I feel like I’m looking at pictures of a twin I didn’t know I had.” 

 

Keith didn’t answer, only nodded slowly. “This was when you proposed to me.” He held a warm tone in his voice, and seemed to cuddle closer to Shiro without meaning to. “On our anniversary. See the date,” he pointed, and then flipped to the first page. “They’re the same. I got you a tie and you got me a ring.” 

 

“I’m sure I loved the tie.” Shiro laughed, only to choke it back when he saw a picture of his parents on the next page. The air became tense again, and more tears welled up in his eyes as he kept admiring every picture on every page. “I just saw them yesterday. I guess it wasn’t, really, but I remember seeing them yesterday.” He took a deep breath and tried to move past it, even though it wouldn’t be that easy. He wanted to finish this scrapbook and see every picture, and he would do it with as few tears as possible.

 

“I’m sorry, Shiro.” Keith whispered with a comforting rub to his arm. The purr droned in and out as Shiro moved between comfort and grief. “Are you feeling alright?” He asked, sitting up properly and drawing his mate’s attention from the book. “Do you want something to eat?”

 

“Um… yeah, yeah. I’m alright. I wouldn’t mind something to eat, though.” Shiro nodded. “I’m… gonna stay and keep flipping through this, if that’s okay.” 

 

“Absolutely. I’m just going to get take out, probably.. I’m, uh, extremely horrible at cooking. You usually did that because I nearly burnt the house down once.” Keith pulled his phone out of his pocket and stood up and stepped out of the living room. 

 

Shiro could hear Keith making his order when he put his attention back to the scrapbook. The next page he flipped to was the wedding pictures, and Keith was right when he said the entire second half was dedicated to just wedding photos. His heart sank more and more with every picture he looked at, and realized that he would never be able to experience the same joy he must have felt before he lost all of his memories. He looked so happy in each photo. Dancing with Keith, kissing Keith, doing things that Shiro didn’t think he would ever do with anyone. He never thought too hard about marriage, and always assumed he would work and figure out his love life after that. But he and Keith had been together since before Shiro graduated school, meaning he probably fell hard and fast for the omega. 

 

Closing the book after the last picture of them together on their honeymoon in Jamaica, Shiro wondered for a moment if he and Keith had ever talked about having children. Was Keith hoping to start a family? With his current condition, Shiro didn’t think he’d be emotionally equipped to handle that amount of stress. Hopefully Keith would understand.

 

Shiro leaned forward and set the scrapbook onto the coffee table with a sigh, and then moved to cuddle up in the couch and pillows. Stress from the day was beginning to consume him, and these forgotten memories that he was looking at were weighing on him more than he would have liked. He still hadn’t wrapped his mind around the whole situation. No one ever thinks they would have amnesia until suddenly they have it, Shiro mused. He closed his eyes and soon heard soft footsteps growing closer. 

 

Keith’s scent was dancing around him and Shiro felt a hand brush through his hair with feather-lightness, before the omega whispered a quick “I’ll be back soon,” and in moment Shiro could hear the door open, close, and a car starting up. 

 

Warmth and emptiness filled Shiro again. Keith being near felt like white-hot fire was burning his insides, but left Shiro wanting to understand  _ why. _ Could it be because he loved Keith before he lost his memories? Because they were bonded? Did everyone feel that same fire with their mate? Did every alpha purr like a happy child when their omega was near? Shiro had so many questions as so few answers to them. He hoped for some clarity in the future.

 

Sleep was dragging him down, though. Exhaustion from the day ate at his mind until he wasn’t able to think clearly, and only able to let himself fall asleep and hope that the next day would be better. He hoped the next day would make it easier for him to process all of these feelings, all of the stress he was experiencing. Tomorrow was a new day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sheithers come get yall juice
> 
> i am back and trying to avoid the reality of s8

Shiro awoke with sore eyes and an even more sore mind. His head positively ached and pounded as he sat up on the couch he slept on. Part of him wished that all of yesterday was a dream, that it wasn’t real, but considering how he remembered every detail about it… Shiro had to face the reality of his situation. He groaned and gently prodded at the gauze covering the cut along the bridge of his nose, wincing at the sharp pain it caused.

 

Deciding he should probably take the medication he was prescribed, he stood up and cracked his back when he went to stretch. His phone was missing so he couldn’t check the time, but once the alpha wandered into the kitchen, he was lucky to see the microwave told him it was only half past ten in the morning. At least he didn’t sleep in too late.

 

The first thing that Shiro saw once he pulled his eyes away from the digital clock, was a bottle of his pills and a note. It was from Keith, written in red ink, telling Shiro that he went to work and that there was leftover takeout in the fridge, and that he was free to explore the house. It was nice that Keith addressed a concern that Shiro had; living in a house he doesn’t recognize as home. The alpha was prepared to just sit and watch something on the television until Keith came home from work, but he felt better knowing that he was _allowed_ to rummage around through the house.

 

He set the note down, gingerly, onto the countertop and moved to pull some leftovers from the fridge. Shiro filled up a glass of water while his meal warmed up in the microwave, and he downed his medication before he took a seat at the table and ate like he hadn’t been fed in months. It was possibly the best takeout he had ever had, in his life, but he also took the time to consider that maybe he and Keith ordered this often. The omega seemed confident when ordered and didn’t ask what Shiro liked, because he just _knew._

 

Cleaning up, Shiro felt his heart grow heavy and his skin get cold. He felt alone and melancholy without someone near him, especially in this spacious house. Did he ever feel like that before he lost all his memories? Did he spend all of his time at work to get rid of the emptiness that this house gave him?

 

Shiro wandered out of the kitchen and glanced at the mounted pictures that he didn’t take the time to fully admire the day before. A lot of them were paintings, but there were so many photographs of himself and Keith as well. Wedding pictures, gray-scaled photos that were hung up in a frame that had intricate heart designs on them. So many pictures that Shiro didn’t remember even taking. He admired each and every one of them as he wandered down the halls, before stopping at an open door to a study.

 

Stepping inside, Shiro took in the professional feel of it all. This was probably his study, huh? He sat down in the chair at his desk before he turned on the computer sitting there. Maybe he could find more interesting tidbits of his missing life on it. Sadly, the start screen was locked with a password that Shiro clearly couldn’t remember. He racked his brain for a few minutes before he stood up to retrieve the photobook from the living room, and opening it once he was seated back at his desk. It was a bit of a cliche, but a lot of couples tend to set their passwords as important dates, right?

 

The first page of the book held the date he and Keith started dating, so Shiro typed it in. Wrong. Shiro flipped to the next important date, their wedding, and he typed it into the bar. His screen unlocked and he was met with an open web browser, which had a half typed up email on it. His eyes glanced over the text, but of course he had no idea what any of it meant. Minimizing the tab, Shiro opened up folder after folder on his desktop to try and find some personal information on himself. Sadly, it all seemed to be business related, and Shiro didn’t even know what he did for a living.

 

He put the computer in rest mode and sighed as he sat back. Of course this would be difficult. Of course he wouldn’t be able to figure anything out about himself. Shiro tapped his fingers on the book in his hands before standing and slotting it into a shelf with an open space, right beside the desk. Curiosity got the best of him when he noticed the numbering on all the books on the next shelf down, so he pulled one out and cracked it open.

 

Upon first glance, Shiro could tell it was a handwritten journal. He used to make it a regular practice of his to log even little things every day, but he fell out of it once he got into college. Hilariously, he started because he didn’t want to forget any important memories he had made. It seemed like he picked the habit back up, and he was eternally grateful for it. Some important information probably laid between the pages in this journal, and perhaps it would help jog his memory a bit. Unlikely as that actually was, Shiro had hope for himself. He wanted to remember.

 

The first page was neatly written as _“Journal 1 of”_ without a final number. He took it as a sign that he was writing these at least every so often, if not everyday. Shiro flipped to the first page and immediately recognized his handwriting. He got himself comfortable in his chair and prepared himself to read the entries for as long as possible. At least until Keith got home.

 

_October 10th, 20XX_

_I met someone between classes today. He was probably the prettiest omega I’ve ever seen. He was drawing a bunch of crows in the courtyard and I stopped to look. He seemed annoyed that I bothered him. I scared off his crows too, so I didn’t catch his name before he stomped off._

 

_I hope I see him again._

 

Shiro was thankful that he took the time to date the first entry. He assumed the pretty omega mentioned in the entry had to have been Keith. He met him for the first time, about a week after his last memory. Shiro was so close to having at least one memory of Keith. He sighed and decided he wanted to keep reading, and not dwell too much on what couldn’t be helped. The next few pages and entries were all just himself detailing little interaction with Keith; learning his name, finding out they have a mutual friend in Matt’s younger sister, Pidge, getting his phone number. Shiro was glad to see that he and Keith clicked so fast. It made his undeniable attraction to the omega much more understandable.

 

Shiro smiled as he got to experience his growing crush on Keith through his writing. He constantly described Keith as beautiful, lovely, adorable, and gorgeous. His entries got longer and longer as he had more to talk about with every interaction he had with Keith. The omega brought him so much joy, so much light, and he even said so himself about halfway into the journal.

 

_I think I could be happy forever, just stargazing with Keith. I think I’m going to ask him to be my boyfriend tomorrow._

 

The next page was a follow up to that last line.

 

_November 30th, 20XX_

 

_I asked Keith to be my boyfriend today._

_He said yes._

_This is one of the happiest days of my life._

 

He could feel the happiness and the excitement through the paper, by the way the letters seemed to have been rushed. Shiro smiled warmly as he read and reread it over and over again, wishing he could feel and experience every emotion that was going through him when he wrote those words down. Shiro ran a finger over the ink, wishing he could remember. The feeling he got from reading and the feeling he got from actually experiencing it, were two very different things to him.

 

He scanned over pages and pages of himself gushing over Keith. There were a few small pictures taped into every few pages, sometimes they were accompanied by doodles of hearts and stars. Shiro turned a page only to be met with a taped-in picture of Keith smiling, hand half over his mouth and eyes scrunched up like he was in the middle of laughing, and then the neighboring page was a scribbly picture of Keith that he assumed he drew. Shiro never considered himself to be much of an artist, but he sure seemed to capture the omega’s likeness even if it was scribbly and unpolished.

 

Their relationship seemed to move fast and steady all at the same time. They became friends and dated shortly after, but things like kissing and holding hands seemed to happen between comparably larger time gaps. Shiro noted that he’d admitted to being shy around Keith, wanting to make sure he made every step in their relationship count. The first journal ended with a few more entries detailing romantic dates, and the alpha closed it up and placed it back onto the shelf with a content sigh.

 

Shiro felt like he had just read a romance novel. It was emotionally satisfying to see his love for Keith unfold page by page, but he still couldn’t shake his depression over the whole ordeal he was faced with. He only wanted to remember everything again. That was all he wanted.

 

Leaning back down, he plucked the second journal off the shelf. The first was the beginnings of his and Keith’s relationship. The innocent milestones every couple got to experience in the first few weeks and months of being together. Shiro couldn’t wait to see what the second journal held. With some impatience, he opened it up to see a bashfully written confession of his growing _physical_ attraction to Keith. Admitting to things about Keith’s body that he admired, adored, and wished to touch. A lot of it centered around Keith’s lips and ass, and after having met Keith for the “first time” yesterday, Shiro nodded as he agreed and felt the same way as he did back when he first wrote this particular entry.

 

Several pages of his pining and even more pages of explicit fantasies he had regarding Keith, ranging from vanilla sex to hardcore, kinky fucking. Shiro felt a burning hot blush cover his face as he read some of the confessions, one that _he wrote himself_ , in fact. He couldn’t decide if that made this weird or normal to be reading. Shiro felt like he was invading a stranger’s privacy, even though _he_ was the stranger. Himself. He wrote all of it, he detailed every way he wanted to fuck Keith. _Wow._

 

After another page or so, Shiro found a simple statement at the start of an entry, that read “ _Keith and I had sex for the first time. I didn’t know he was a virgin. I hope he enjoyed it as much as I did.”_ Everything after that was sweet reminiscences of how he played with Keith, worked him open slowly with his fingers and mouth, before he took the omega for the first time. Shiro felt a firmness in his pants as he read the details over the next page and a half.

 

He must have really loved Keith. He must _love_ Keith.

 

Most of this particular journal contained snippets of his and Keith’s sex life. Moments where he found out that the omega had a particular kink, or little things Shiro did that stirred Keith up, or even the more innocent moments of after-care that they shared with each other. They had amazing chemistry, Shiro noticed. Near the end of the journal was a picture taped in of Keith wearing lacy lingerie, staring at himself in a full body mirror. Shiro could see himself, totally nude, in the reflection as well. The neighboring page also had Keith in that same lingerie, but now facing Shiro while bent at the hips. Hands on the alpha’s knees and a flirty, seductive look in his eyes.

 

The words and pictures together really did cause a commotion in Shiro’s pants. He found himself idly pawing at the front of his pants as his eyes lingered on the photos, and wondering if Keith missed that. Missed Shiro, emotionally and physically. It hadn’t crossed his mind until now, after seeing his _extremely_ healthy sex life written out over one entire journal.

 

Shiro closed the journal and put it back onto the shelf where he grabbed it. His hand found its way back to the front of his pants and palmed at the thick, firmness that was covered up. He warred with himself, trying to decide if getting off to his own memories was wrong or not. It would have to be wrong, right? Because Shiro couldn’t remember anything? He didn’t remember that he ever did any of the things written in that journal. So, masturbating while thinking of his mate, who also happened to be a total stranger at the same time, had to be weird? Right?

 

_Right??_

 

He had _just_ met Keith, to his current memory, for the first time the day before. He shouldn’t want to do this. Or maybe his body knew Keith as his main sexual stimulant, and was only reacting how it normally would? Was that possible? Shiro had no idea if it was or not, but he was going to roll with that. So, leaning back down, Shiro reached to grab the journal he just finished reading, only to notice a small box that was hidden between the bookshelf and the wall corner.

 

Hm. How curious.

 

Shiro grabbed it with only some struggle, and popped open the lid. Inside was a stack of pictures, and the first one was of Keith. Naked. The alpha quickly slapped the lid back on and nearly threw it across the desk with a  terrified gasp, before he remembered that he was already about to get off to Keith. God. His body and his brain both seemed to want different things.

 

He opened up the box again, carefully, and plucked the picture out. It was tasteful and pretty, just like Keith. He was entirely naked and had a large hand resting on his upper thigh, with one of his own on top of that. Shiro smiled and set it aside as he grabbed out another one, which was again one of a naked Keith. His ass was in the air and Shiro’s hand had two fingers deep inside, down to the last knuckle.

 

Shiro was so, so thankful for himself for doing things like this. He may have forgotten ever doing it, but damn, was he glad that he did.

 

Admiring the close-up of Keith’s hole, Shiro pushed down the waistband of his pants and grabbed his cock. It was hot and heavy and pulsed in his palm when Shiro thought about how good Keith must taste, especially after reading so many detailed retellings of it in his journal. The next picture showed Keith smiling with Shiro’s cock head on his tongue, cum dripping from around his lips, and it tore a soft moan from his chest.

 

By then, Shiro was mindlessly stroking himself with a quick hand. Each picture he grabbed showed Keith more and more messy and slutty, like he couldn’t get enough of seeing Keith with a cock in his mouth or ass. Some were of Keith, face covered with cum, and others were of Keith’s ass, also covered and filled to the brim with the alpha’s hot seed. Shiro found moans spilling from his mouth the closer he got to his orgasm, and he set the picture down to grab at his heavy sack and focus on bringing himself closer to the edge. Shiro couldn’t help visualizing Keith sucking down his cock, feeling the back of his throat. Or, Keith riding the girthy member and Shiro busting his load deep into the omega’s guts.

 

That got him to cum, almost immediately.

 

Shiro felt his entire body shiver as his creamy cum shot out and dripped down the long length of his cock. It softened in a few moments, but the alpha tried to savor the feeling and stimulation as he came down from his high. It felt so amazing. He couldn’t think of the last time he came so hard, not even from watching porn.

 

Panic set in when he heard the front door closing, and Shiro scrambled to clean himself up and hide what he’d done. Had he seriously been reading those journals for that long? Or was Keith just back incredibly early? Either way, Shiro tucked himself back into his pants and hid the box of pictures before he wandered out to see Keith. The omega looked tired and worn out, and his natural instinct was the desire to comfort, but he didn’t feel right doing that after having just gotten off to Keith’s ass not even five minutes ago.

 

“Welcome home.” Shiro said, trying to at least appear innocent. He needed to keep that to himself. No telling Keith about how he just busted the best nut of his life to some of Keith’s dirty pictures. “What time are you usually off work?” He asked.

 

Keith looked up at the alpha with a smile that seemed to be filled with genuine joy, nothing fake for the sake of Shiro. That made the alpha’s chest swell with something, but he didn’t know what good feeling to describe it as. “I’m usually ten until six. I got to come back early, because of your situation. I wanted to make sure you were okay.” Keith explained, setting his bag onto the table when he reached the kitchen. “Did you sleep fine? Did you eat?”

 

“I slept… fine. It wasn’t the best, but I’ll live.” Shiro nodded and leaned against the kitchen counter, watching Keith roam about the kitchen. “I ate some of the take out you got. Sorry I fell asleep before you got back with it.”

 

“It’s fine. I’m just glad you ate something.” Keith turned, hand touching Shiro’s shoulder like it was muscle memory, and pulling away with a sad look in his eye. “Are you feeling any better?”

 

Shiro raised a brow as Keith refused to look him in the eye, while asking the question. “I’m feeling better than I did yesterday. I feel a little refreshed, actually.” For a moment, Shiro noted that Keith almost sounded choked up. “Are _you_ okay?”

 

“Me?” Keith turned again, eyes a little red. “I’m okay. I’m fine. I’m just really, really tired.” He said, almost weakly. “So, um, what did you do today?” The omega turned back around, grabbing a peach out the fridge. More avoiding eye contact.

 

“I looked around the study. Found some journals I apparently wrote, and got through two of them.” Shiro shoved his hands into his pockets, humming softly as Keith only nodded. “One of them was, uh, pretty… explicit.” _Don’t tell Keith you got off to him._

 

It at least grabbed a laugh from him. “Yeah. I remember when you finally let me read them.” Keith said, before biting into the fruit. “I was surprised, because you never really let me see that side of you until we’d already done… all of that stuff.”

 

Shiro felt a little breath hitch in his chest as he saw juice from the peach trail down Keith’s chin. Lord, he was so beautiful. His cock felt like it was growing hard again, and he cursed himself for letting himself get worked up by this _perfect_ omega. “I found a box of pictures, too. Of us. But mostly you.” _Fuck, this wasn’t working out well. God damn it, word vomit._

 

Keith’s startled reaction and his jaw clenching in the middle of a bite into the peach was enough to tell Shiro that he _really_ should not have said that. The omega stared at him with wide eyes, and all color drained from his face. “Oh my god. I didn’t know you kept those.” He whispered, after swallowing his mouthful of peach. “ _Damn it,_ Shiro! God, no, not _you_ Shiro but _Shiro_ from - you know, I’m sure you get it.” He took a deep breath and set his peach aside as he calmed himself. “I asked you to get rid of those like, a few months back, because Allura and Lance’s daughter got into your study and almost got into the box.” He explained. “Please, I don’t want that to happen. Where did you find it?”

 

Shiro couldn’t help but laugh at Keith, but he understood where his frustration was coming from. It was nice to see him show other sides of himself, other emotions instead of just sadness and mushiness like the day before. “It was shoved between the wall and the end of one of the bookshelves.” He answered, and his stupid feet took a step closer to Keith. “Can I tell you something?” _Don’t tell him! Shut up!_

 

Raising an eyebrow, Keith nodded. “Go ahead.”

 

_Don’t say it, don’t tell him, shut up, shut up shut up shut up!!_

 

“I may have, uh… gotten off to them.” Shiro covered his mouth immediately once the words left it, and his squeezed his eyes shut with embarrassment and shame. He just told Keith that he masturbated to him. Keith knows that Shiro jerked off to him. _Oh my god_ was all Shiro could think of, aside from strings of self deprecation.

 

Keith looked stunned. Baffled. Flushed. Like a deer caught in headlights. “You... You, you what?”

 

“Jesus Christ. I can’t, I don’t -” Shiro backed up two steps, hands out in front of him. “I have no idea why I said that, _oh my god_ , I’m so sorry, Keith!” The alpha backed up more and felt his lower back touch the counter top, but somehow he wished he could just phase through it, never to be seen again. “It - it was just, word vomit, I don’t know why I -”

 

During Shiro’s stammering, Keith took a few curious paces closer. Omega scent washed over Shiro like a calming ocean wave, bathing him in a refreshing warmth. He trailed off, mumbling out sounds that held no meaning when Keith’s soft hands cradled Shiro’s jaw. The alpha couldn’t help leaning into it, wanting more of that _feeling_. His shoulder tingled, like small jolts of electricity were shooting up and down his spine and up into his brain. His heart pounded as he stared into Keith’s eyes. They were dark like sunsets, but light still shone through. Shiro saw the sparkle, the glimmer of sunshine in his iris right before they leaned into each other, lips meeting in a mindblowing kiss.

 

Nothing felt wrong with Keith’s lips on Shiro’s. Shiro didn’t think about how this may have meant more for Keith than it did for himself. Keith had years of love and attachments to the lips he was kissing, but Shiro only had a more carnal desire to take the omega standing a whole head below him. He wrapped strong hands around Keith’s waist and trailed them over wide hips and up his spine, all while deepening their kiss. Tongues moved together like it was a muscle memory for them, which for Keith, it may have been.

 

The dull pain in Shiro’s nose was an afterthought. His stitches hurt, yes, but his desire to claim an omega was so much stronger than pain. Keith jumped and moaned into the kiss when Shiro grabbed his perfectly round, squeezable ass. They somehow dove deeper into each other, and Keith must have _missed_ having his mate to touch him like this, Keith probably needed this stress relief, Keith must be so happy to know Shiro was really here, really in front of him, and --

 

Shiro couldn’t do it.

 

The alpha slowly backed out of their kiss, gently moving his hands to a much less _suggestive_ area, and just stared down at Keith. The omega attempted to chase his husband’s lips, but Shiro had to put distance between them. He moved Keith back, just out of arm’s reach, and Shiro felt guilt eating into his stomach. Those eyes looked sad, lonely, heartbroken. Keith looked like he was about to burst into tears at any given moment.

 

“I’m sorry, Keith.” Shiro whispered out, unintentionally soft. Clearing his throat, he spoke up. “This isn’t right. I don’t know you the way you know me, at least not yet.”

 

“But, you…” Keith started, eyes moving down to the floor before back up to meet the alpha’s eyes. “It’s fine. I understand. I get it. I’m… really sorry I came onto you like that.”

 

“There was something.” Shiro smiled, fondly. “Sparks, warmth, just… a general fire between us.” He felt like the sappy love interest in a shoujo anime. “It was… absolutely amazing. It was. But, I can’t take advantage of you like that. You love Shiro, me, but I don’t have any of those feelings now. I’m not…” Shiro choked on his voice, feeling hot tears run down his face. Why was he crying? “I’m not your husband. I’m not the same person he was.” Shiro could see the way Keith needed to physically hold himself back from touching Shiro. From reaching out to help and comfort Shiro, who was hiccuping little, muted sobs out.

 

“What’s wrong…?” Keith asked, and he had to hold his hands against his stomach to keep from pulling Shiro into his arms. “Shiro? Are you okay?”

 

The tears were hot and burning on Shiro’s skin, and his head hurt like hell. His heart was slamming in his chest whenever he stared at Keith for too long, and he didn’t know why any of this was happening. He didn’t get it. “I don’t _know_.” He nearly heaved out, and in moments Keith was cradling the alpha in his arms. “I don’t know what’s happening, Keith.”

 

Keith just hushed Shiro, trying to allow a comforting scent to wash over the alpha like he did before. He purred and cooed to help Shiro relax and feel safe, and after a while, it worked. Shiro caught his breath, sniffled, wiped his eyes, and pulled away within about ten minutes. The omega wiped a few stray tears from bruised cheeks, still covered in gauze. “How are you feeling?”

 

“Better.” Shiro’s voice was watery still, but he was being genuine. Keith really did help him.

 

“Have you changed this yet?” Keith asked, thumbs rubbing at the tender skin around the wound on Shiro’s face. “I can help if you want me to.”

 

“I haven’t.” The alpha softly replied. “If you could… I’d appreciate the help.”

 

“Of course. Sit down and I’ll grab the first aid kit.” Keith’s tone was both loving and demanding, and Shiro supposed that perhaps it came from years of marriage and Keith needing to make Shiro do things without coming off as too mean or too much of a pushover.

 

The omega walked off out of the kitchen and Shiro found himself staring at his ass, even after he just finished having an emotional meltdown. Tearing his eyes away, Shiro dug the heels of his palms into his temples in an attempt to soothe the headache he was developing from his cry-fest. “How long did the doctor say I’d have these stitches?” He asked, once Keith sat down beside him.

 

“It should only be about a week or two. Maybe longer, because the cut does go onto your cheeks a bit.” Keith opened up the kit and then began to tenderly pull off the gauze and tape from the alpha’s face. He set it aside and grimaced at the sick color of Shiro’s skin, the rawness of it being somewhat vile to look at. “Oh, god. I remember when you broke your arm, and it didn’t look even a little bit like this.” Keith took a few sheets of clean gauze and covered it with a disinfectant, then placed it on Shiro’s nose and cheeks as gently as he could. “Please sit still, Shiro.”

 

“It hurts.” Shiro grumbled around his fidgeting. He knew the omega was being as gentle as possible, but _fuck_ this hurt so badly, he couldn’t even begin to explain it. “Sorry, I’m trying.” His voice was weak and pained, but he got a fond glance from Keith. A small smile on his plump lips, and Shiro imagined kissing them again. Seconds passed before Keith stood up and packed up the kit. “You’re done already?”

 

“Yep. You did really good at the end. I was worried that taping the gauze would hurt most.” Keith hummed as he put the medical kit back where he originally procured it from, then tossed out the dirtied cloth and did a quick wipe-down of the table top. Keith noticed Shiro staring at him the entire time, and smiled at the alpha, his husband. “How are you feeling?” He asked, softly.

 

“I…” Shiro felt like he was floating for a moment, before he blinked and forced himself to remain grounded. “I feel good. I, um… was wondering something, though. About my job, about my… our, friends. Does anyone else know about all of this?”

 

“Work knows. I let them know the moment I got to the hospital.” Keith nodded, one hand on a beautifully curved hip and the other on the corner of the table. “I… haven’t told anyone else yet. You’ve always been the type to want to tell people things like this yourself.” Keith looked away for a moment, sighing softly. “Oh, that’s right. I forgot to give you your phone back.”

 

“It survived the accident, then?” Shiro asked, watching Keith trot over to his handbag and shift a few things around, before pulling the cellphone out. Shiro took it from the omega with a hum, confusedly staring at it before he hit the home button and the screen lit up. “Oh.” Was all he could say, when he saw the beautiful picture of Keith kissing Shiro’s cheek as his lock screen.

 

“There’s a crack or two on the screen, but it’s fine otherwise. I was pretty surprised it didn’t get totally ruined.” Keith came around the side of Shiro’s chair and swiped up on the screen, not thinking twice about the lock screen photo. “Your password is my birthday. You didn’t know that I knew this before your accident, but you know it now.” Keith typed in 1023 on the number pad that popped up, and Shiro nodded as he whispered it back to himself, filing it away in his brain.

 

Shiro took a moment to stare at the wallpaper on the screen. Similar to his lock screen, it was of Keith and Shiro kissing, but only the home screen was full on lips to lips, against a golden sunset. “We love taking pictures, huh?”

 

Nodding, Keith sighed fondly. “You never wanted to forget anything. No moment was to go undocumented.” He kneaded Shiro’s shoulder for a moment before he pulled away and clasped both hands behind his back. “Are you going to call Matt?”

 

Shiro hovered over the icons, clicking on a few before finding the one with all his contacts in it. He had _so many_ to sift through, and only a few of those names looked familiar to him. “Yeah… Matt is the only person I can really remember before this, uh. Accident.” He looked up at Keith for a moment, nearly feeling the depression radiating off of the omega. “Matt, Pidge… um… a few guys from other classes, and that’s about it. I don’t see their names in here, though.”

 

Keith watched Shiro hit the call button under Matt’s name and place the phone to his ear. His chest and stomach felt heavy, watching Shiro. Knowing Shiro only had yesterday and today to know who Keith was. Everything felt like a joke, a prank, like Shiro would wake up one morning with breakfast in bed and say _Gotcha!_

 

But, that wouldn’t happen. Keith realized that this damage may never be fixed. There’s a good chance Shiro might not ever remember Keith. The Shiro that Keith knew and loved might be gone forever, and Keith couldn’t do a single thing about it. The thought was eating away at him, that he would probably never get him back. His alpha, his mate, his husband, his _Shiro_ might be lost forever. Keith felt his eyes getting misty before he saw Shiro smile when Matt finally picked up the phone.

 

“Matt! Hey!” Shiro said, excitedly. “Oh god, how are you? Are you busy today?” He asked, leaning his elbows on the table and grinning stupidly. Keith missed seeing that smile.

 

 _“Shiro? Oh, no. I have the day off.”_ Matt replied, sounding only a little taken off guard. _“What’s up? You trying to get some drinks tonight?”_

 

“That would be awesome, actually.” Shiro said, looking up at Keith with a smile. “I have a lot of things to talk about with you. Um, where should we go? I can’t drive right now.”

 

“I’ll take you.” Keith said. “I’ll drop you off, so you can have some privacy with him.” Keith interjected quickly.

 

“Keith said he can drop me off.” Shiro added, like he was a kid telling his friend that his mother would take him to whatever function they were going to.

 

 _“Why doesn’t Keith come along too? I’ll invite Nyma.”_ Matt sounded excited and Shiro could already hear the jingling of his keys from the other side of the call. _“Let’s go to Vrepit Sal’s and visit Hunk. Katie is working tonight too, so we can see her.”_

 

“Nyma…?” Shiro repeated back, looking back up to Keith. “Vrepit… Sal’s?” The genuine confusion and hurt his brain was feeling as he attempted to recall names and places had his brows furrowing tightly together. “Um, actually, Matt? I wanted to talk to you alone. If that’s fine.”

 

 _“Oh. Yeah, no problem, pal.”_ Matt answered. _“We can still go to Sal’s, though. They’ve got a special on their hot wings all week and Katie always gives me a family discount.”_

 

“Yeah, that sounds awesome. I just need to shower and get myself ready, first. Give me like… an hour, tops.” Shiro smiled, giving quick goodbyes and hanging up. “Wow. What the hell is a Vrepit Sal’s? Who is Nyma? And, Hunk… is one of your friends, right?” The alpha had a look of defeat, confusion, and already some exhaustion on his face as he looked to Keith for answers, for help.

 

It made Keith’s bitter, broken heart beat with warmth. “Vrepit Sal’s is Hunk’s bar. It’s like a diner and a bar mixed together. Really popular place.” Keith explained. “Nyma is Matt’s current girlfriend. They’ve been together for about… hm… two years?” Keith nodded, believing that sounded the correct amount of time. “Hunk is _our_ friend. I went to high school with him and he’s someone close and important to me. He did all the catering at our wedding.” As he explained it, Keith saw some more worry etch it’s way across Shiro’s face. “Hey. It’ll be fine. If Hunk is busy, he probably won’t leave the kitchen. Matt will tell Pidge, Pidge will tell Hunk, and it’ll just be a domino effect for the whole friend group. That’s just less people you need to explain this too.”

 

There was a pause before Shiro just nodded, slowly. “Alright. I’ll… um… I should probably get ready, shower, and just… think of what I’ll say to Matt.” The alpha stood and Keith led him to the bathroom, giving him a quick tour of the room before exiting. “Okay, Takashi. You got this.” He steeled himself in the mirror, trying not to notice too many of his age marks and gray hairs before he turned on the shower.

 

His attempts to scrub away his fears, pain, anxiety, frustration… and recently, his embarrassment over coming onto Keith, were all in vain. The longer he stood under hot water that eventually became cold, he longer the alpha had to reflect on his day, the day before, and all the things he’d have to face now that he would be relearning the world and people around him. Shiro stepped out of the shower, face thankfully dry and no need to change his gauze. He brushed his teeth, scrubbing away the lingering taste of Keith’s black coffee and replacing it with an unsatisfying mint.

 

Shiro sighed, wrapped a towel around himself, and spotted the folded clothes on the top of a closed hamper. Clothes that were probably placed there by Keith, while Shiro was sulking and reflecting in the shower. He dried off, dressed himself in the black t-shirt and olive khakis that were folded, and took a moment to collect all of his thoughts once more. The clothing was similar to what he would normally wear, so he was glad to see his taste hadn’t changed too much. At least he felt comfortable, like this. Yeah.

 

Comfortable.

 

Shiro strided out with some renewed energy, meeting Keith at the front door after being handed his wallet, phone, and a piece of paper with his card’s pin number and his phone’s password. He slipped on his shoes, smiling, and took a deep breath of fresh air once outside. He was going to make this happen. It would be fine. He was about to see his best friend.

 

Everything would be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we need to be cleansed, probably
> 
> comments and kudos are always appreciated!
> 
> tumblr: tigatrons / pyriphlegethons  
> twitter: @bttomkeith


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter killed me

“Don’t forget your wallet and phone.” Keith said after he pulled into the parking lot of Vrepit Sal’s. “I’ll text you in a bit to make sure you’re feeling alright. Just… let me know how it’s going, okay?” He turned to look at Shiro, forcing a bit of a smile. “If it’s too much to deal with, I’ll come pick you up.”

 

Shiro patted down his pockets after unbuckling his seatbelt, nodding as Keith spoke to him. He had this maternal tone in his voice, like he was speaking to his child and not to the person who was supposed to be his husband. Shiro liked the concern, liked that Keith wanted to be there to help if Shiro needed anything at all, including a quick escape home if it came down to it. “I’ll keep you updated.” Shiro smiled back at Keith, something equally forced. 

 

Leaving the house, Shiro was determined to make his time with Matt, his long time best friend,  _ awesome. _ He wanted to get drunk, he wanted to stuff his face with good food, and he wanted to party like he was still twenty-five. Like he was still the age he remembered being. But, right now, Keith was… treating him like he was starting his first day of school. Almost like Keith didn’t trust Shiro to be out alone, even if he wasn’t  _ really  _ alone.

 

“Okay.” Keith replied, voice soft. “Tell Matt, Hunk, and Pidge that I say hi.” without thinking, Keith leaned across the center console right when Shiro opened the door. The omega was startled momentarily by the lack of kiss he got, before his brain finally registered some things. The kiss they shared earlier didn’t mean anything. Keith didn’t mean anything to Shiro. Shiro didn’t see Keith as a husband. “I’ll, um… I’ll see you later.”

 

Shiro’s feet met gravelly asphalt and he turned when he heard Keith’s pretty voice. He nodded, ignoring how Keith was leaning about halfway over to the passenger seat. With a wave of his hand and a small smile, Shiro shut the door and headed inside the bar, smelling something so sinfully good from inside the establishment. God, he was ready to eat the trashiest bar food imaginable and drink until he felt stupid.

 

The moment Shiro stepped inside, he spotted Matt. He was sitting at a booth not too far away from the bar, and the alpha made quick work over to his best friend. Matt stared wide-eyed, jaw dropped, when Shiro sat down and the beta got a good look at the bandages all across Shiro’s face. “Dude. What the hell happened to you? Where did  _ that  _ come from?” Matt asked, leaning across the table with raised brows.

 

“Funny story, actually.” Shiro laughed. “It’s actually, um… why I wanted to see you.” The air between them went from joyous reunion to funeral atmosphere in seconds. “I was in a car crash. I was out for a few days, came home yesterday. Thankfully I didn’t break anything, or I might still be at the hospital.” He tried to lighten the mood with laughter, but Matt kept up a strong, concerned stare. “Um… I, uh, got a brain injury from the accident.”

 

“And what does that mean?” Matt asked, finding his voice against the pit in his throat. He looked like Shiro was about to tell him he was  _ dying  _ or something. “Are you going to be okay?”

 

Deep breath, exhale, and Shiro nodded with a small smile. “I’ll be okay. I promise, it’s nothing life threatening.” The relieved sigh Matt gave out was almost comically exaggerated, but Shiro didn’t wait for the beta to speak before he kept going. “But, I lost my memories. Seven years of memories. You’re the only person I could think to get ahold of.” 

 

Honestly, telling Matt all of that wasn’t nearly as difficult as Shiro thought it would be. Matt’s eyebrows did shoot back up into his hairline, his jaw dropped once more, and Shiro was wondering how his face didn’t somehow permanently stay stuck like that. The alpha could see gears turning in Matt’s mind, trying to sort out all of the questions he probably had to ask, so Shiro waited. He wouldn’t rush anything, not his best friend.

 

“Seven years?” Matt repeated back, sounding dumbfounded by the mere idea. “Wait, so… you just, can’t remember anything from the last seven years? What does this mean? What  _ can _ you remember?” He looked shocked, as Shiro suspected, but he kept his tone as even as possible with all the confusion running around in his mind.

 

“I remember being at physics class in college. That’s my last memory. The day before that, I saw my parents, and I remember  _ everything _ so vividly, like they just happened.” Shiro started, releasing a small huff. “I remember being twenty-five, and then I woke up in the hospital as a thirty-two year old  _ married man. _ I don’t even… remember Keith, and my parents are…” He shook that from his mind, and pressed on. “I can’t leave, so I’m staying with Keith. But, I know he’s hurting. I don’t know what to do, really.”

 

Matt let it sink in for a moment, before the beta waved over a waitress and ordered some wings and a drink for the two of them. “So… okay. You don’t remember your own husband, but you’re living with him?” Shiro nodded. “You can’t work, obviously, since you can’t remember… so you’re just…? Stuck?”

 

“Yeah.” Shiro sighed. “I’m really stuck. I don’t want to be a burden on Keith, and I don’t think staying with him is going to help me. I have moments where I want to stay, because it’s convenient and I think that maybe I’ll remember something, but…” The alpha sighed, mumbling a thanks to the waitress when she set down their drinks. “I think it would be better if I wasn’t hurting him so much.”

 

“And, can I ask why you think you’re hurting him?” Matt asked. “You, his husband? Hurting  _ Keith? _ Yeah right, that’s hilarious.” He chuckled between sips of his beer. “You couldn't hurt Keith. You two are so in love that I think it would be literally impossible for you to hurt him.” The chuckle faded, smile dropping a bit as ginger brows tensed together. “You aren’t thinking of… leaving him, right? Like, divorce?”

 

“No! No, I mean, uh… I didn’t even really think about it?” Shiro’s hands were clenched tightly together in a fist, and he stared past them as he thought to today, the day before, and the things that happened. “I know I loved Keith before my accident. I have like, journals upon journals of memories that I wrote down, and I can tell that I  _ loved _ Keith.” His breath hitched, but the alpha just cleared his throat and persisted. “I don’t think I have those feelings, though. That was me before everything happened. That was a me that I can’t remember.”

 

Matt leaned forward with troubled gaze, something glassing over his eyes at the thought of Shiro not loving Keith. They were the dream team, the power couple, the metaphorical prom king and queen. He opened his mouth to speak, but the waitress was setting down two baskets of wings along with a side of fries. The beta waited for a moment before he spoke again. “Shiro. I get that with losing your memories, that means you lost the feelings you had for Keith. But, I can’t watch my best friend leave the person I watched him fall in love with.” Matt said, bringing Shiro’s eyes to meet his. “Just give it some time. Wait a little longer before you consider leaving, consider moving out, or… God, I hate the  _ idea _ of you divorcing Keith.”

 

“I just don’t know what to do.” Shiro mumbled, squeezing a fry between his fingers. “I kissed him. Today, when he got back from work. I kissed him, and it was magical. It was so amazing.” He smiled fondly, looking back at it. “It wasn’t right to do. I have a lot of physical attractions to Keith, but I don’t know him. Or, I guess I just don’t remember him, which… I don’t know, Matt. This whole thing makes my head hurt.”

 

“Kissing  _ might _ be a little too much for you right now.” Matt chuckled in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere, once he saw that tiny smile when Shiro brought it up. “Do me a favor, okay? Talk to Keith, sit down with him and just put it all out on the table.” He started. “Tell him you might want to move out if nothing works out in a few weeks or so. Just, promise me you’ll give this a shot, and wait to see if things improve more?” The beta almost sounded like he was begging,  _ begging _ for Shiro to not leave Keith. 

 

So, he nodded. Shiro nodded and picked up his beer, clinking the glass against Matt’s. “I’ll give it time. I just didn’t know how to sort out my thoughts, so thanks for listening to me.” After a swig of the bitter drink, he grabbed a chicken wing from the basket and bit into the sauce-covered meat. “I’ve told Keith that I’m not the same person he married, that I don’t share his feelings, and…” He chewed slowly, zoning out for a moment. “I started sobbing. Whenever I think or say anything about how I  _ don’t  _ love Keith, I just start crying.”

 

Matt reached for the napkin dispenser and pulled a few out, handing them to the alpha. “Like right now?” He asked, seeing beads of tears rolling down Shiro’s face, dampening the gauze. “Hey, I remember watching a documentary in psychology, back in high school.” As he spoke, he watched Shiro clean off his fingers before he dabbed at the tears. “He had some sort of amnesia. Couldn’t remember anything or make new memories.”

 

Shiro sniffled and raised his eyebrow after setting aside the napkin. “Well, I can remember things and I’m making new memories. What about this guy?” He asked, picking up his half finished wing.

 

“See, since he forgot everything and wasn’t able to make new memories, you’d assume that he wouldn’t love or care about his wife, right? Because he doesn’t even know her anymore.” Matt went on. “Right?”

 

“I mean, if he has no memories of her, yeah. I’d say that sounds right.” Shiro sighed. “What’s the point of this, again? It’s not exactly helping me feel better, Matt.”

 

“Hey, hold on, I’m not done yet. Don’t jump the gun.” Matt crossed one leg over the other and leaned onto his elbows, smiling at Shiro. “He didn’t know who his wife was, but whenever he saw her he remembered how much he loved her. His total adoration for his wife was the only memory he had left.” He caught the way Shiro’s whole body seemed to jerk at that. “He’d sing, yell happily, hug her, be affectionate to her. He’d call her the most beautiful person he’d ever seen.” Shiro stared, and Matt was glad he got something to click in his mind. “Just because you don’t remember Keith, doesn’t mean you completely forgot him. He’s there, somewhere, in your brain. I think you get emotional when you think of Keith, because just like that guy, you still remember loving him.”

 

“Matt, I…” Shiro’s head hurt. His heart hurt. He clenched his jaw, wanting to speak but his thoughts were raging in his head. It made sense, he thought. A man forgetting everything except the love for his wife. Shiro felt  _ things _ for Keith, had desires whenever he was near the omega. He kissed Keith, got off to pictures of Keith, he felt the raging need to follow him whenever Keith walked away. Shiro felt his heart slam in his chest just by looking at Keith. It made sense. It wasn’t too off the mark to assume that his body remembered Keith, even if  _ he _ couldn’t, right? “Thank you. So much, that… it means a lot to me.” 

 

The tears made sense. The longing made sense. He naturally wanted to be with Keith, to hold and kiss and  _ love Keith. _ Shiro didn’t know why he had random yearnings for the omega, why that kiss was so explosive, or why he purred the night before when Keith and him were looking through the photo album. Things clicked in his mind, making sense of things he didn’t understand since waking up in the hospital. His immediate attraction to Keith made so much sense. 

 

“I didn’t think that class would be important.” Matt smiled, shrugging nonchalantly before digging into his food. “Until now, of course. Now it’s pretty important.”

 

Shiro felt a strange warmth bloom in his chest now that he had something he could, in a way, relate to. Something he could use as a way to help him understand why he randomly would burst into tears, or why he wanted to hold Keith all the time. “I’m so glad you took that psychology class.” He settled on going back to eating, making offhand comments and jokes with Matt until a familiar, yet slightly older, face walked over to the table.

 

“Katie!” Matt grinned, waving her over. “Can you tell Hunk that these are the  _ best  _ wings of all time?” He laughed happily as he downed the rest of his beer, but grimaced at the thump he got to his forehead.

 

“You don’t need to brown nose to get a discount, you know.” Pidge said, before turning to Shiro with wide eyes. “Oh, damn. Did you get into a fight or something?” She asked.

 

“Car accident, actually.” Shiro said, once he took the last sip of his beer. “It’s… a long story.”

 

“I’ll tell you about it later.” Matt said. “If that’s alright with you, Shiro. I won’t say anything if you don’t want me to.” He held a hand up, waiting for the words to come, but Shiro just nods.

 

“It would be easier than me going around and telling everyone myself.” The alpha sad-laughed. Actually, this was the exact situation he hoped for. That means he doesn’t need to feel obligated telling people he doesn’t remember the intimate details of his post-crash mind. “Anyway, Pidge. You’re looking great, the hair is getting pretty long now.”

 

“Oh, yeah.” Pidge nodded, playing with the brown locks. “It’s actually been this length for about a year now. You… never noticed?” Raising a brow, she shot a killer gaze at Matt, then to Shiro. “Something is different. What’s going on?” She pushed her way into the booth with a frown. “Come on, Shiro. I don’t like being out of the loop on things, especially when it concerns my brother and my best friend’s husband.”

 

Shiro traded a worried stare with Matt, before he took a deep breath and tried to relax. He really didn’t want to have to explain this to anyone but Matt. “I have some amnesia after my car accident. It’s a long story, but I’m trying to figure some things out still.”

 

“I’ll tell you the rest later.” Matt said, once again, to Pidge. “He’s having a rough time with it, so how about we try to like, not overwhelm him right now? Especially since he kinda spilled his guts out to me about ten minutes ago.” 

 

“Well…” Pidge nodded. “Okay. I won’t push it. But, I  _ am _ getting details from Keith, not just Matt. I just want you to know.” Her confident, mischievous smile got a fond chuckle from Shiro. “Just know that everyone is here for you, if you need anything.”

 

“Thank you, Pidge.” Shiro smiled. “I think I’ll be okay. Matt really, really helped me get some things sorted out in my head. Keith is eager to help me, too. He’s kinda been right by my side since I got out of the hospital.” There it was again, the thumping of his heart. Even saying the omega’s name drew affection out of him.

 

“I would hope so.” Pidge smiled. “Don’t worry, Shiro. I’m sure this amnesia thing won’t last for long. I mean, you remember Matt, and me, and obviously Keith.” She stood with a chuckle and grabbed the empty glasses from the table. “I’ll get you guys a refill. On hubby, of course.” With a wink, the girl walked off.

 

“Hubby?” Shiro questioned once Pidge was out of earshot. “She’s  _ married? _ Since when? Isn’t she still, like… oh. She would be a lot older now, huh?”

 

“She and Hunk got married.” Matt said. “She works here from time to time. Not always, because she’s also working on developing some cool computer software stuff.” He noted the way Shiro looked down a bit, processing yet another thing that’s changed in the time since his last memory was. “Don’t sweat it. I’ll fill her in on everything later, okay? And, if she talks to Keith, she’ll figure it all out.”

 

“I feel bad that I missed so much.” Shiro grumbled. “Well, not missed. Forgot. You guys are like a second family to me. I’m… sad that I forgot so many things about the people I care about.”

 

“Like I said, no worries. It’ll all get better, okay? You just need to soldier on and have some faith in yourself.” Matt grinned, grabbing his glass once Pidge was back to deliver them to the booth. “We’re here for you, buddy. All of us are. Don’t  _ forget _ that.” He winked, proud of his joke.

 

“Matt, that’s mean.” Pidge rolled her eyes. “Okay, I need to talk about stuff with people, so I’m sorry I have to leave already. It’s good to see you’re doing so well after the accident, Shiro. Mine and Hunk’s door is always open for you too, okay?”

 

“Thank you, Pidge.” Shiro’s smile felt a little weak, but he was so appreciative of the girl’s kind words. He pulled her into a tight hug before she left, and then immediately drank a good quarter of his beer. “She’s so grown up now. It’s weird, almost, to see her looking so…”

 

“Grown up?” Matt laughed.

 

Shiro nodded with a laugh of his own. “Yeah, that. There’s not a whole lot else I can think of to describe it.”

 

The two of them fell into a familiar tempo of conversation. Jokes here, serious sidebars there, followed by light hearted bantering. Shiro and Matt always had conversation that flowed easily, like words found themselves forming and they always knew what to say to one another at the perfect time. Shiro couldn’t have asked for a better best friend, not in a million years. 

 

It was better now, that Shiro got his concerns off his chest. It was better now that Matt helped find a way to guide Shiro, made things click inside his brain and give staying with Keith a chance. Shiro of course felt bouts of sadness when something came up that was lost to his amnesia, but in general he felt more positive about the situation. Matt was right; Shiro just needed to have a little bit of faith in himself, and in recovering his memories. 

 

Shiro was finally finishing the last wing in his basket when a man, bulky and grinning widely, walked over to the booth. “Shiro! Pidge just told me what happened. How’s it going? Is your face healing up?” He asked the alpha, keeping his tone soft yet curious. 

 

By the time Hunk walked up to the booth, Shiro and Matt were both already a few beers deep. Shiro squinted his eyes, turning between Matt and Hunk in an attempt to gather his thoughts and feelings. Pidge told him? Who was he? Oh! Shiro’s back shot straight up in hard line, mouth agape. “ _ You’re _ Hunk!” He declared, pointing a finger at the beta standing before him. 

 

“That’s right, I’m Hunk. One of your best pals, y’know, glad to see you remember me.” Hunk laughed, arms crossed. “Man, your face is so red. You need a water? I can go grab you some.”

 

“Please.” Shiro urged, smiling until Hunk walked off to the bar. “Matt! I don’t know what to say to him!” The alcohol was causing Shiro’s words to slur, and he spoke to the beta with a very comically loud whisper. 

 

“S’okay, I got it.” Matt pushed his way out of the booth, and caught Hunk right before he turned the bar corner. Shiro turned fully in his seat to watch the two betas chatter, big smiles on their faces. Matt leaned in at one point, speaking in a soft whisper, and Shiro saw Hunk’s happy expression falter and then they locked eyes for the briefest second. Matt took the glass from Hunk, and what started as happy catchings up turned into something morose. “Okay. I let him know about it. The whole sitch.” Matt said, sitting back at the table. “Poor guy.” He sighed.

 

Taking the water, Shiro sipped at it and felt the now familiar waves of regret and depression soak into him. It was almost sobering. “I think I should call Keith and go home for the night.” He slurred out as he found his phone, unlocking it to see a few missed texts. “Shit. I forgot that Keith wanted me to keep him updated on things.” He rolled his eyes, feeling like he was thirteen again. His mother always wanted updates on what was happening while he was out.  

 

The rolling of his eyes must not have been the only form of displeasure he showed, though. Shiro looked up to see Matt giving him an impressive stink-eye while sipping the rest of his beer down. “Man. You okay? What did he say?” Matt asked, and leaned back with crossed arms. He grabbed the bill when the waitress came by to deliver it, and quickly handed it back to her with his card.

 

Shiro waited until the waitress walked away, finishing his text to Keith and setting his phone to the side. “Nothing, really. He just asked how it was feeling and if everything was going okay.” He dragged a finger over the condensation gathering on his glass of water. He knew his answer wouldn’t satisfy Matt, though. “He’s just… I appreciate that he cares so much. I appreciate all he’s doing for me.” The alpha started, voice stumbling with slurring speech. “But, he acts like a mother hen. It was just a little frustrating. It’s only been two days and I wish he could give me space, aside from when he’s at work.”

 

“Ah.” Matt nodded, taking his card back when the waitress delivered it to the booth. “I gotcha. It’s probably just because he’s worried something else is gonna happen. You  _ did _ just have a car accident and lost memories of your entire relationship with him, y’know.” The beta watched as Shiro picked his phone up after it vibrated on the table. “Is that him?”

 

“Yeah.” Shiro typed a quick reply back to him. “He’s coming to pick me up now.” He shoved the phone back into his pocket, then sighed. “See, I get he’s worried. That’s why I appreciate  _ everything _ he’s doing for me. I just… on top of my issues, with worrying about hurting him and the stuff regarding my feelings…” He tightened his jaw, tongue suddenly feeling heavy in his mouth. “It’s just a little, um… annoying, when he hovers over me.”

 

“I think you’re just getting frustrated because this is new to you.” Matt said. “Back in high school, you didn’t date a whole lot. I mean, there was Adam, but that was the last serious relationship you had before Keith.” He went on, noticing the discomfort in Shiro’s face. “Adam wasn’t husband material, though. Keith is. Keith wants to make sure you’re safe and happy.”

 

The second the word  _ happy _ left Matt’s mouth, Shiro was already shaking his head. “I get it, Matt, but I don’t like being hovered over. Yesterday didn’t bug me, because I was just released from the hospital. Today, when Keith got back from work, and we had that… moment, with the kiss… He was almost  _ too  _ attentive to me.” The alpha sighed and pushed a hand through his black hair. “If he keeps it up, I won’t be able to deal with it.”

 

“So, just tell him that.” Matt replied simply and with a shrug. Clearly the complaints Shiro had weren’t the ones Matt expected to hear. Worrying you were hurting someone who loves you? Valid. Being annoyed by general kindness? Not so much. “Nothing gets solved without communication and some hard work. You told me you would stay and get things to improve. You  _ promised  _ me that.” The beta’s eyes narrowed just enough for Shiro to feel challenged. “Stick to it. Don’t chicken out. Talk to him about  _ anything _ you’re having issues with.”

 

He was right. Shiro knew it. “Okay. I’m, I’m sorry. I didn’t think about the  _ why _ too much.” He nodded, pulling his phone out when it vibrated. “He’s here. It was awesome, Matt. Thanks for talking to me.” He said, smiling and trying to stand with minimal wobble in his legs. “We need to meet up more, okay?”

 

“I’ll check in on you from time to time. It’s not often I have a full day off, though, so don’t always expect drinks.” Matt laughed and walked outside, arm in arm with Shiro. “Take care, okay? Call me whenever you need.”

 

“Roger that, cap.” Shiro chuckled, hugging his best friend in the whole wide world before he stumbled to Keith’s car and hopped in. “Hey.” Was all he could muster once he turned to see the omega. The alcohol in his system decided now was a good time to start sobering up, and Shiro didn’t like that too much. “I’m sorry I didn’t text you back until a little bit ago.”

 

“It’s fine.” Keith hummed, backing out and proceeding down the street. “I just wanted to make sure you were feeling fine. How was it?” He asked. “Pidge texted me and wanted me to fill her in on everything. I take it you saw her?”

 

“It was good. Fun. I got pretty drunk with Matt, so that was nice.” Shiro folded his hands on his lap, not entirely sure where to put them. “I saw Pidge, yeah. I didn’t tell her everything. Same with Hunk. Matt talked to Hunk for me.” 

 

“I wonder how he took it.” Keith mused, voice soft.

 

“He looked sad.” 

 

Keith only nodded in response to that. “I’m really glad you had a good time, though.”

 

“Can I ask you something?” Shiro chirped, head lolling to the side a bit so it was resting almost on the side of the headrest. “It’s important. Matt wanted me to be clear and open with you.” Despite how he was sobering up, it was still a slow enough process for him to still find himself slurring his words together. He stared, waiting for Keith to meet his gaze at the next red light.

 

The red lights from the cars in front of them shone through the windshield, bathing Keith’s face in the light. It was the perfect color for him, Shiro thought. “You can ask me absolutely anything, Shiro.” Was his reply, before turning his eyes back to the street.

 

Warmth flooded Shiro’s chest. He felt a wave hit him in that same instance, and he felt  _ awful _ that this kindness had frustrated him so badly. “I just… I wanted to ask you if you’d give me some space.” He noticed Keith tighten his grip on the steering wheel. “I’m feeling overwhelmed because of all this… amnesia, stuff. You can just treat me the same way you did before the accident.”

 

There was a pause on Keith’s end, then the omega nodded. “Got it. I’ll loosen up a bit.” He said. “I’m sorry, Shiro. I didn’t realize, I guess, that I’d be overwhelming you.”

 

His tone made Shiro’s heart ache. As badly as Shiro wanted space, he also equally wanted to pull Keith into his arms. The few hugs they shared and all the times Keith had touched Shiro during the last few days, always sent something warm through Shiro. The omega had a magical touch. 

 

It wasn’t long before they were back home. Shiro’s feet met the driveway and he was amazingly not stumbling as he followed Keith to the front door. There was still a mild buzz coursing through him, but that would be gone after a nap. Shiro toed off his shoes and wandered to the living room with a yawn, flopping back onto the couch.

 

He could hear Keith wandering about, cleaning a few things off and occasionally shuffling into the living room. Shiro’s eyes cracked open when he heard a soft  _ clunk _ , and spotted the glass of water on the coffee table. The omega was gone before Shiro could even say a thanks to him. Sitting up with a groan, Shiro grabbed the cup and drank a healthy amount before Keith was wandering back in.

 

Keith looked awkward, standing at the far end of the coffee table. He had his arms crossed, hands tucked warmly under them, and he was drowning in a red hoodie. Eyes scanned all over the living room, before he was forced to look Shiro in the eyes. “You said you wanted me to treat you like I did before the accident.” He started, voice almost a mumble. “I don’t want to overwhelm you, or come on too strongly with you. I don’t know if I can go back to how it was, when you… don’t remember me. You said earlier, too, that you didn’t love me how I love you.” Keith’s voice was shaking as he spoke, and it tore Shiro’s heart apart. “I can’t treat you like my husband, now that you’ve told me you’re  _ not _ my husband.”

 

It felt like deep cuts formed in Shiro’s stomach, and he felt bile and regret and sadness fill him. His hands trembled violently as he watched Keith choke out a sob, and so many emotions he didn’t know he could feel,  _ flooded _ into his heart like a tsunami. It crashed into him and knocked him over like he was nothing. Shiro wasn’t the same person Keith married. Shiro didn’t love Keith the same way he used to. Shiro wasn’t  _ Keith’s _ Shiro. 

 

But, Matt even said that Shiro probably remembered loving Keith. That’s why all of this shook him so deeply to his core. There was something. There was no way there wasn’t something left.

 

His body moved on it’s own to pull Keith into Shiro’s arms. They held the omega tightly, securely, and Shiro moved to seat the two of them down onto the couch. Keith was  _ sobbing. _ His hands gripped into Shiro’s shirt and he bawled into the crook of the alpha’s neck. Shiro didn’t know what to do except rub Keith’s back and coo softly the same way Keith did when Shiro cried earlier in the day.

 

“I didn’t know it would hurt you so much.” Shiro whispered. Hurting Keith was one of his biggest fears. “I’m sorry, Keith. It slips my mind sometimes. I didn’t think it through before I said that to you.” 

 

“I was worried you were going to  _ die. _ ” Keith sobbed out, clutching Shiro tighter. “I was so scared, I…” Choking sobs, more hiccups, and Shiro let Keith take his time. “I didn’t want to lose you.” It broke Shiro’s heart to hear the  _ defeat _ in the omega’s words. “But.. but, I lost you anyway…”

 

It was soul shattering. Shiro’s hands gripped tighter onto Keith, his breath hitched, and before he knew it, there were tears streaming down his own face. “I’m sorry. I’m still here, Keith. I’m here.” He knew it wasn’t the best he could give. Shiro said himself that he didn’t love Keith, and he wasn’t lying to him. Shiro wasn’t the same. But, hearing Keith cry and cry and  _ cry  _ was agonizing. He didn’t want to hear him hurt so badly. “I knew you were hurting and I just made it worse. I’m so sorry, Keith.”

 

“I,” Keith hiccupped. “I just want you back.” He sounded so tired, so lost. Shiro hugged him closer. “I want my husband back…” There was a whine, a beat of silence, before Keith was choking out more pained cries. 

 

This was so painful. Shiro’s heart ached. Why couldn’t he just have his memories back? Why did the universe let this happened to him?

 

“I want to come back.” Was Shiro’s response. “I don’t want to keep hurting you, Keith. You’re too kind, too caring… you don’t deserve this.” He sniffled and let out a shaking breath as he buried his face in Keith’s hair. “Nothing is worth your pain.”

 

“ _ Please. _ ” Keith cried. “Please, Shiro…”

 

His hands smoothed over Keith’s back, holding the omega close. Shiro cooed softly around his own shaking voice as he laid back, keeping Keith secure on top of him. “Deep breaths.” He said, taking his own at the same time Keith did. “It’ll be okay. I promise.” Shiro glanced down as the omega shifted, making himself comfortable. 

 

The way Keith laid himself on top of Shiro had something familiar to it. Immediately, he was able to make the position far from uncomfortable. Shiro was happy to feel the warmth that engulfed him as Keith hugged and tangled himself around the alpha. Shiro closed his eyes and kept stroking Keith’s back, finding peace in how it helped the omega ground himself. Sobs became whines, whines turned into sniffles, and eventually Keith was almost completely silent.

 

“How are you feeling?” Shiro asked, voice just above a whisper.

 

“Better. I’m sorry I did that.” Keith whispered back. He moved a bit to try and sit up, but Shiro’s hands forced him to stay in place. “Shiro…?”

 

“Stay. Rest.” The alpha smiled, meeting Keith’s gaze. “I’m here. You need this.” Keith only nodded and rested his face in Shiro’s chest, and no more words were spoken between them.

 

Everything would be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so there was a man named Clive Wearing, who had a 30 second long memory span. he had some type of disease (i cant remember what) that caused damage to his brain and made it impossible for him to remember anything or make new memories. the only thing he had left was the knowledge that he loved his wife, who he completely forgot about. whenever he saw her, he fell completely in love and was vocal about how beautiful he thought she was. 
> 
> Matt is referencing Clive Wearing in this chapter, and he was also a minor inspiration for this fic!
> 
> dont worry. it'll get happier soon.
> 
> \--  
> Twitter: @bttomkeith  
> Tumblr: tigatrons / pyriphlegethons


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter goes out to sochan, who told me to write some porn when i was deciding whether i should or not <3 im glad i did, because wow i love to write some good fuck

Everything was not fine.

 

Shiro woke up with the most huge boner  _ ever. _ And, the worst part, was that Keith was still asleep on top of him. The softest scent of cinnamon and cider wafted off Keith’s body, from the scent glands below the omega’s ears. Every time Shiro inhaled, that warm fragrance burrowed itself into his aching cock. Keith’s leg was swung over Shiro’s hip, knee bent right above the alpha’s dick. 

 

“Fuck.” Shiro grumbled, feeling the strain against the khakis he fell asleep in. Keith shifted at one point, too, and bumped into the hard member. It made his brain fry, his hips jolt up, and a breathy gasp leave his mouth. He was stupid to think something like this wouldn’t happen. “K-Keith?” Shiro called, voice barely over a whisper. This was going to be  _ awful. _

 

The use of his name at least made Keith grunt out a soft “hrm?” but nothing more. The omega was clinging so tightly to Shiro, to the point where Shiro wasn’t sure if there would be a way to move off the couch without also waking Keith up in the process. That was the predicament he was dealing with. A bad case of the morning wood and a tired omega, who his body was basically trained to react to, sleeping on him. 

 

Not good. Not good at all.

 

Matt had so nicely brought up the idea that Shiro’s body wanted and missed Keith, even if his mind had totally forgotten him. It was becoming painfully obvious just how much his body wanted the body it had mated with. Shiro could feel the front of his pants growing a bit damp from precum, and he hadn’t even  _ touched himself. _ This would be so awkward to explain when Keith finally woke up.

 

Speaking of the devil, Keith moaned and buried his face into Shiro’s neck. It was surprising, it drew a muted moan from the alpha as well. Keith’s eyes fluttered open and in moments was pushing himself up on his elbows. “Shiro?” He asked, tiredly, and those  _ eyes  _ drove a twitch up Shiro’s cock. He looked so pretty when sleepy.

 

“Hey.” Shiro said, stupidly.  _ Hey, _ who the hell was he? Saying  _ hey _ to the most gorgeous omega to walk the damn Earth, who also happened to be extremely close to pushing those plush cheeks against a rigid cock. Shiro’s very,  _ very  _ aching, rigid cock. “You’re so pretty.” He said, without thinking. He felt like an idiot. 

 

Not even twenty-four hours ago was he telling Keith to give him space, to not hover over him. Shiro had made the poor omega cry, then offered (forced) Keith to sleep on the couch with him. What kind of person was he? Shiro cursed at himself, feeling like he was probably really messing up Keith’s emotions. He was already dealing with his husband not exactly being his husband anymore, but now he had to deal with the man he loves playing emotional tic-tac-toe with him?

 

Keith’s tired, half lidded eyes stared down at Shiro for a moment, probably in an attempt to process what was happening. “Oh my god, Shiro.” He whispered, forcing himself to sit up. “I’m sorry, you asked for space, and then I-” He stopped suddenly, once he felt something hard pressing between his cheeks. The instant it happened, Shiro’s jaw dropped and a moan came out. “Shit.  _ Fuck. _ I’m sorry -”

 

Large hands grabbed quickly at Keith’s waist, a waist so  _ small, _ to Shiro’s totally satisfied disbelief, that both thumbs and his fingertips nearly touched. That made a possessive growl erupt from Shiro’s chest. “Stay.” He begged, quickly, before moving his hips up. “I know what I said. I said I wanted space.” Shiro started, voice growing a tad bit strained as he juggled what he  _ wanted _ and what he thought he  _ should _ do. “But, I can’t watch you cry like that. I can’t.”

 

“Please, I’ll be fine.” Keith’s hands found Shiro’s, tightly wrapped around his waist. “I can’t keep overwhelming you. You’re still figuring things out, and, and…” He trailed off, face suddenly becoming red as his body swayed. He inhaled, eyes shutting for a moment, before he let out a moan. “Oh no…”

 

Heat.

 

_ Heat. _

 

Shiro shot up, hands grasping at the shirt Keith had on and tugging it up until his midriff was exposed to the cool air inside the house. “You’re in heat.” He panted, feeling something wild raging in his chest, in his head. “Stay, let me take care of you.” Shiro cooed and purred until Keith bared the left side of his neck.  _ Fuck _ . Shiro shivered at the sight of a deep mark already on smooth skin. He’d clearly staked his claim many times before. 

 

“Are you sure you want me?” Keith asked, voice cracking. He sounded so sad and unsure. 

 

There was some emotion bubbling up inside of Shiro, something that felt familiar. More than a carnal desire, more than a physical  _ want _ to claim an omega in heat. “I want you more than you can imagine.” Was all he could say, before yanking Keith’s shirt off and then his own, tossing them to the floor. “I don’t think I could ever want anybody else.”

 

Keith’s body shook now that he was suddenly exposed to the cool air in the house. He watched Shiro’s hands move up to tug and play with both of the omega’s hardening tits, and moaned at the feelings. “Take me in any way you want me.” He whispered. Keith’s hands moved down to the waistband of his pants, shimmying them down his hips until he couldn’t push them down anymore. 

 

Once he took notice, Shiro scooped Keith up with both hands on the omega’s ass, and flipped them over on the couch. With Keith on his back, Shiro eagerly pulled off his pants and underwear before he stripped himself as well. “You’re fucking beautiful, Keith.” The alpha growled, inhaling a stronger scent than before Keith’s heat began to warm the omega’s body. Strong hands pushed his legs up from under Keith’s knees, and spread them as far apart as he could. “ _ Fuck. _ ”

 

Keith’s hole was soaked and leaking slick like a waterfall. The poor thing was whining and gently running his hands over his balls, then the perineum, and finally pushing easily into his asshole. “Shiro,” Keith gasped, “I missed you. I missed this. I didn’t think I’d be able to have this again, I-” The omega moaned loudly as his fingers easily found his prostate. He massaged it and managed out a nice little squirt of precum as a reward. 

 

“You’ll get more. I won’t let this be only once.” Shiro pulled that delicate hand away from his prize, and dove down to shove his tongue as deep as he could inside. The moan that was ripped from his throat was guttural and shameless. His hands found Keith’s hips and practically forced it down harder on his mouth, wanting more more  _ more _ of it.

 

Keith was crying out at the feeling, both hands gripping Shiro’s hair as his hips rolled onto a skilled and familiar mouth. He gasped out “Shiro!” so many times that the alpha didn’t feel like it was even his name anymore. It was so soaked with emotion and desire. 

 

The taste of that amazing slick drove Shiro absolutely crazy. His tongue grazed around the rim, dipping inside only to pull it out and forcing it to catch along the loose hole, before diving back inside and stirring up all that delicious slick. Pulling off for a moment, Shiro licked his lips and moaned at the way Keith’s asshole tried to tighten down on something, anything. He let a nastier, more sexually aggressive side of himself take over, placed a claiming bite on the omega’s inner thigh with a needy growl.

 

“Shiro, more,  _ more _ -” Keith whined, still tugging at his mate’s hair. “Cock, f-fuck me, please!” The heat inside him was building so much that Keith was already sweating, and his body shook violently under Shiro’s perfect torture. “I lo-love… I love you, Shiro…!” Keith gasped with something watery in his chest, and as Shiro gave one last lick and suck to that perfect hole, he spotted a tear streaming down a flushed cheek.

 

“I’ve got you, baby. I’m right here.” Shiro placed a tender kiss over the tear, before pressing inside.

 

Shiro’s cock was not one most people trifled with. It was thick, long, and heavy, with a pair of impressive balls to top it off. When people thought Alpha, they usually meant Shiro. And, yet, Keith took each inch with total ease. Velvety warmth engulfed Shiro’s cock and it felt like pure heaven. Both of them rolled back their eyes, jaws slacking, when the alpha got balls deep inside of his omega.

 

Looking down, Shiro saw the raised indent on Keith’s abdomen. A bulge in his flat stomach, from a cock too big to have reasonably been able to fit inside. “You’re fucking kidding.” Shiro exhaled roughly, giving an experimental thrust. “How did you fit it all inside?”

 

“Practice.” Keith smiled, smugly. “And a lot of determination.” The omega mewled as Shiro allowed himself to thrust around, shallowly, to feel the wet warmth and shudder at how perfect it was inside of Keith. 

 

The alpha leaned in, his body feeling like it was moving on autopilot, and kissed Keith. Slender, yet strong, arms wrapped over his shoulders as they kissed. Tongues danced around, sucking on one another, as experienced hips rocked together. Shiro’s cock dragged Keith’s entire body from under him, and it was so unbelievably amazing to watch. 

 

Breaking their kissing for a moment, Shiro brought both hands back to Keith’s waist. It was still so small, so delicate, and he moaned loud and happy as he pulled the omega on and off his cock like he was feather-light, like a doll for his pleasure. 

 

It drove Keith absolutely ballistic, too. 

 

The omega dragged claws over Shiro’s skin, his jaw dropped as happy moans escaped his throat at each thrust. He knew just when to tighten himself around that cock, the perfect angle to roll his hips, and how to make Shiro groan and growl and take him harder.

 

Heat spread even further as Shiro’s knot grew, pressing against the hole but not quite going inside. Shiro slammed his hips wildly, the instinctual need to impregnate his omega coursing through his body. Keith’s eyes were wide and he has the biggest grin on his pretty face, when it finally popped inside. 

 

It pulled the most strangled moan out of them both. They came together, Shiro filling up Keith’s poor abused hole as the omega came over both of their stomachs. It was amazing and satisfying, and Shiro already wanted to go another around. However, his knot was still emptying its contents inside of Keith, so he had to wait. 

 

“I love you.” Keith whispered as he brought his hands to cup Shiro’s cheeks. “I love you, Takashi.”

 

A fond smile tugged on Shiro’s lips at the sound of his first name. “Keith…” He purred, leaning in and capturing lips in a warm kiss. They huddled up in a ball as they kissed and rode out the feeling of their orgasms, trading soft glaces and sweet nothings before the warmth took Keith’s mind and body again.

 

At some point in the haze of heat, they’d moved to the bedroom. Shiro folding Keith in half and pounding away at that amazing hole, moaning into the omega’s mouth and in turn swallowing up every whine and needy mewl Keith let out. Shiro lost track of how many times he’d fucked his knot inside of Keith, or how many times Keith had cried out “I love you”, but sleep took hold of both of them long after the sun had set.

 

Heats lasted quite some time, and while Shiro never shared a heat with anyone, he still knew he’d be in for a long few days with Keith. The enhanced scent of Keith’s natural pheromones dug deep into Shiro’s brain and lungs, pulling out what had to have been repressed, forgotten memories. He’d touched Keith like he knew that body, he’d made the omega cum from his cock alone, he’d done so much to Keith and Keith loved every second of it. 

 

Nearly a week had gone by, if Shiro counted the days right. Keith had fallen asleep on top of him yet again, but this time it was after riding Shiro’s exhausted body until even Keith couldn’t keep himself moving. The sight of his magnificent body moving up and down on an impossibly hard dick was Shiro’s wet dream. He almost wished it would have never ended.

 

But, Shiro rolled onto his side, holding Keith close in his arms and making sure that pretty little head was relaxed against one of the many pillows that crowded the bed. Slipping his spent cock out from that relaxed hole, Shiro placed a kiss onto Keith’s cheek without much thought at all. There was something fuzzy in his heart, warm and comforting, as the alpha took a moment to admire how peaceful Keith looked when asleep.

 

He wished he could remember his life. Shiro wanted so badly to remember his love for Keith. Shiro was stupid to think he could ask for space from Keith, when all he seemed to want was to hold him and be buried inside the omega. 

 

It was almost like his body was moving on autopilot once he got out of bed. Like he was subconsciously working through a routine that he wasn’t aware of. Shiro hadn’t gone out for a jog at all since he’d been released from the hospital, so he figured it would be good for him to get a little more exercise. He brushed his teeth and found something to wear in the closet, somehow guessing which one belonged to him on the first try. He glanced occasionally at Keith as he dressed himself in some of the workout clothes that he’d pulled from the closet.

 

_ Peaceful _ was truly the only word Shiro was able to describe how Keith looked.

 

Once dressed, Shiro was tearing himself out of the bedroom to go on a nice jog around the neighborhood. All the houses were beautiful, the weather was nice, and the sun was high in the sky. He took his time to reflect on everything since he’d left the hospital. His feelings, coming to terms with his memory loss, and Keith. He felt like he was flip-flopping between wanting to be close to Keith, and wanting distance. Since waking up after a  _ very _ passionate heat with the omega, though, Shiro decided the last thing he wanted was to keep Keith too far away from him. Especially when Keith was the single person who could be key to helping Shiro remember the life they built together.

 

Frustrating as the hovering may have been, Shiro was content in knowing that it was only out of love. He needed to communicate, let Keith know how he felt, and let Keith into his mind a little more so he knew how he was feeling. Shiro smiled as he rounded a street and found himself already back to Keith’s house. Their house. 

 

Back home.

 

He stepped inside and toed off his shoes as the delightful smell of coffee welcomed him back. Shiro wandered to the kitchen, immediately spotting Keith in only the black shirt Shiro had worn out before the heat started. Long, bare legs made the alpha’s heart stumble a bit, as well as seeing that little bit of ass that wasn’t entirely covered by his shirt. Keith turned with a smile, two mugs of coffee in either hand to set them down on the kitchen table.

 

“Welcome back. How was your jog?” Keith asked as he brought both hands, now empty, to rest on Shiro’s chest.

 

Before answering, Shiro leaned in to kiss Keith. His hands lovingly gripped at that perfect ass before he pulled away to gaze into violet irises. “It was refreshing.” He said, head feeling a bit light and foggy as his mind could only focus on  _ Keith Keith Keith. _ “How are you feeling? Sore?”

 

Keith purred as he pressed his body closer to Shiro’s, pulling the alpha down into another kiss. “Refreshed, as well.” He hummed. “So much for space, huh?”

 

“Yeah.” Shiro stupidly breathed out as he mindlessly tugged Keith out of the kitchen, and into the direction of the bedroom. “Why would I want space from someone as amazing as you?”

 

The fog in Shiro’s mind only got thicker as he brought Keith back to bed. A week of heat sex wasn’t enough for him, it seemed. Their bodies just meshed so well together, and it was easy to lose track of time between Keith’s legs. He didn’t remember anything after finally making Keith cum with a beautiful cry, his whole world going dark for a moment as something pounded on his brain, like a hammer to hot metal. 

 

“Shiro?” 

 

“Hm…?” Shiro groaned, feeling pain and aches in his head. He shifted and felt a hand against his cheek. He leaned into it, kissing the palm, before opening his eyes. “Keith?” Shiro asked, vision a bit blurry.

 

“Are you okay?” Keith was always so quick to make sure everything was fine. Shiro loved that about him. “You kinda… you passed out after you, uh, came.”

 

“Wow.” Shiro laughed, tiredly, as he blinked away the blurriness on his eyes. “Wow, yeah, that’s embarrassing. What time is it? Was I out for a while?” He sat up slowly, laughing at himself for having made a fool of himself like that. 

 

“Only a few minutes.” Keith reassured with a kiss. “It was amazing, though.” The dreamy sigh and the loving, fond gaze was everything that made Shiro’s heart slam against his ribs. “We should eat. You’re clearly tired from helping me with my heat.”

 

Shiro pressed a needy kiss against Keith’s lips before he forced himself out of bed. “What would you like?” He asked as he and Keith dressed themselves. Keith kept Shiro’s shirt to wear again, and the alpha was only a little sad that he decided to wear panties under them this time. “Want me to make some pancakes?”

 

Keith took a moment to stare at Shiro, a small smile that the alpha had come love slowly worked up onto those amazing lips. “You always make pancakes.” He sounded a bit bashful as he said it. “It was always our thing, every morning.”

 

“So…” Shiro pulled Keith close, hands on his waist. “Was that a yes for the pancakes?”

 

“Always a yes.” The omega replied and stood up on his toes to place a peck to Shiro’s lips.

 

That morning was rooted in an alien familiarity that Shiro couldn’t decide if he liked or disliked. There was something in all his actions that made Keith respond in a way that just felt  _ right, _ even if there was something of a surprise in those eyes when it happened. Shiro and Keith sipped at coffee that had grown cold after the morning sex they’d decided to indulge in, loving every bite of pancakes that were a perfect copy of the ones Shiro’s mother made when he was growing up. 

 

A fog came and went every now and again, clouding Shiro’s brain until all he could focus on was Keith. His voice came in clear over all the white noise around him, his face was all the alpha could see with any sort of clarity. Even when Keith helped change the gauze over the bridge of Shiro’s nose, all discomfort and pain was nonexistent so long as Keith was speaking to him.

 

Fuck.

 

“I think I remembered something.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cliff hanger :3c
> 
> twitter: @bttomkeith  
> tumblr: tigatrons / pyriphlegethons
> 
> comments and kudos are always appreciated <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no update!!
> 
> This one has mentions of mpreg and miscarriages so if that upsets you in any way, please read with caution!

The memory had come fuzzily, like it was hidden behind a thick fog. As Shiro went about his morning, the fog never left his head, but suddenly it was clearing. Memories were peeking from behind these clouds, memories of Keith and Shiro and a doctor’s office. The alpha squeezed his eyes shut and felt faint for a moment as he could only hear crying, could only see Keith. “I think I remembered something, Keith.” Shiro gasped, hands holding either side of his head.

 

“Shiro? What is it?” Keith asked, trying to hold onto his husband’s arms in case he lost consciousness again. “Hey, listen. Focus on me, don’t pass out again.” His sweet voice drew Shiro to face him, brown eyes opening slowly, growing damp and glassy. “Shiro, what did you remember?”

 

It took a moment before the alpha could speak, let alone process this memory correctly. It was like he knew exactly what was happening without any of the context, it was jarring, it was painful. “We were going to have a baby.” Shiro started, and instantly Keith jerked backwards. “You miscarried at two months. You were in the hospital, you wouldn’t let me near you. Keith -” Shiro moved both hands from his head to grab Keith’s shoulders with all the tenderness in the world. “I’m so sorry, Keith.”

 

“It wasn’t your fault.” Keith’s voice was breathless and shaky, but he didn’t run from Shiro. He wouldn’t run from it anymore. “That was a long time ago. We’ve healed from that, Shiro. I promise, everything is fine, so you don’t need to apologize to me anymore.” The omega slowly leaned in to kiss Shiro’s forehead, allowing the tight hug that followed.

 

“You called it Puppy.” Shiro whispered, and the memory sent ice down Keith’s back.

 

“Shh, Shiro.” Keith whispered with soothing hands running over the alpha’s shoulders; shoulders that trembled and shook along with muted sobs. “We tried for a lot of puppies, Shiro. It just wasn’t the right time for us then.”

 

Fog kept drifting out of Shiro’s mind, paving the way for more scenes of this particular memory. His hands moved to tightly fist the back of Keith’s shirt as he recalled seeing Keith passed out in the bathroom, blood dripping down his legs. Keith waking up in the car ride to the hospital, screaming out of grief. Keith refusing to look at Shiro as he laid in the hospital bed, after everything had been taken out and cleaned off. It wretched something violent from Shiro, a few more hard sobs, a gag, before Shiro pushed Keith back and promptly vomited to the side, all over the kitchen floor. 

 

“Shiro!” Keith’s worried exclamation pulled the alpha out of his brain for a while, long enough to take in what happened. “Shiro, baby, please look at me.” He said firmly, cupping his mate’s cheeks to force their eyes to meet. “It’s okay. You need deep breaths, you need water, and you need to lay down a little longer.”

 

Allowing himself to be pulled onto his feet, Shiro nodded as Keith led him out into the living room, to lay down on the couch once again after a whole week. “I’m so sorry, Keith.” Shiro whispered to the omega, sighing at the feeling of a hand brushing back his bangs. “I’m - my head hurts so bad, Keith.”

 

“I’ll get you some medicine and water. I need to clean up the floor too.” Keith spoke slowly before he leaned to kiss Shiro’s forehead again. “It’ll be okay. I’ll be right back.”

 

“Okay.” Shiro watched Keith leave, only closing his eyes when he disappeared into the kitchen. It felt like an eternity went by where Shiro could do nothing but weep on the couch while heart wrenching scenes replayed over and over in his mind, only able to see Keith hurting and broken. He cracked his eyes open when Keith placed a glass of water and a bottle of pain meds onto the coffee table, and Shiro eagerly swallowed two of them along with half of the glass. “Thank you so much, Keith. You… you do so much for me, I…”

 

Keith shushed Shiro again, sitting at the edge of the couch. “Don’t apologize to me anymore.” He said. “Not for old things, not for things we can’t help.” Waiting for the alpha to nod, Keith pressed on. “None of this, Shiro, is anything you need to apologize to me for.”

 

A moment of silence passed by, with Shiro just nodding slowly as the gears turned in his mind. “Can I… ask how it happened?” He met Keith’s eyes for a moment, before looking away. “I know it happened. I just can’t remember how. It’s… it’s still fuzzy, before it and… and after, after seeing you in the bed.” Keith’s warm hand squeezed Shiro’s tightly, waiting as the alpha stared off into space. “You wouldn’t look at me.”

 

“I fell, getting out of the shower.” Keith said, voice soft. “I slipped, hit my stomach right on the side of the bathtub. You were working in your office, I had the day off so I… just decided to take a shower in the middle of the day.” He shrugged. “You rushed in, I passed out, then… before I knew what was happening, I just woke up in the car in a lot of pain and I knew what happened.”

 

“I should have gotten there faster.” Shiro whispered.

 

“You didn’t need to. You did fine. The miscarriage wasn’t your fault, Shiro.” Keith reassured with a coo, even a smile. “What you did for me that day was fine enough. Nothing could have fixed it, okay?”

 

Part of Shiro still didn’t want to agree. He didn’t want to think it was fine, that he couldn’t have done anything else. Shiro sniffled, hiccupped, and reciprocated the warm embrace the omega beside him offered. “It makes me feel sick.” He mumbled. “I never thought about having kids… well, before… before all of this. But, remembering, now, how we… we were going to have a baby together, and losing it, and -” Shiro dry heaved into Keith’s shoulder as another wave of uncontrolled sobs hit him. “It feels like, like part of me was just ripped out of my chest, Keith!”

 

“I felt the same way, Shiro.” Keith spoke, attempting to ease Shiro’s distress once again. “It was years ago now, baby. Remembering is probably just stirring the feelings you had in that moment back up, I’m sure everything will be fine soon.” He pressed gentle kisses into Shiro’s hair, combing black locks with his fingers as he waited out Shiro’s cries. It brought tears to Keith’s eyes, admittedly, but he couldn’t let himself be swept back up in emotions he’d long since tried to bury. 

 

A long while of rocking Shiro back and forth in his arms, Keith purred and cooed and hoped that it would help calm his emotions. Eventually, the cries did die down, and Shiro pulled away from the omega’s shoulder with a wet face and bloodshot eyes. “Feeling better?” Keith asked, wiping the tears away.

 

“... a bit.” Shiro said, locking eyes with Keith. “What if you get pregnant again, Keith?” He asked, hand moving to press gentle and curious fingers into the omega’s abdomen. “Are… are you scared of getting pregnant? In case something… like that, happens again?”

 

“I’m not scared.” Keith replied, confidently. “You don’t remember the conversation, but… we agreed to keep trying. After we had some therapy, and time to recover.”

 

Brown eyes moved from Keith’s purple, down to soft lips that Shiro couldn’t stop himself from leaning in to kiss. “I don’t know if I’m ready for that. I, I have so many emotions and feelings right now, and I… I, Keith…”

 

“It’s okay.” Keith kissed back, before pressing Shiro’s palm against his stomach. “I know you’re not ready. Not like this. I wouldn’t expect you to be ready for this, with your memory loss. I’m… I’m willing to work around it, until you’re better. Until you’re at a place again where you see me as your mate, where we’re in love again.”

 

A dark brow raised up as Shiro curiously studied Keith. “Willing to work around…?” Tilting his head to the side, Shiro knitted his brows together. “Work around what?”

 

“I’m going to get on birth control, and a heat suppressant.” Keith said. “I’m not going to risk us having a baby when you’re not ready for it. We need to do this together if it’s going to happen, so…” Bringing Shiro’s hand up, Keith kissed right over the wedding band on his alpha’s finger. “I have faith you’ll get better, so I can wait a little longer.”

 

A pang of guilt and pain rang through Shiro’s heart, but at the same time, relief washed over him. “I want to remember. Everything.” He started. “Bad and good, I want to remember, so I can stop feeling like this all the time and… and we can go back to normal. I want to remember  _ us _ .”

 

“I know you will, Shiro.” Keith whimpered, hand flying up to cover his mouth. “I miss you so much.”

 

“There’s something in me that misses you too, Keith.” Shiro tried to smile, but his quivering lip made it a little too difficult. “Whenever I look at you, I can feel it. I told you before that I want to come back, I want to be who I was before I forgot.” He swallowed down a sob. “This, this is a step forward. It’s a painful memory but it’s a step forward.”

 

“I love you so much.” The omega said, getting a weak and watery smile to grace his lips. “I have faith. I know, I  _ know _ , you’ll get better.”

 

“I don’t want to force distance between us anymore.” Shiro added. “I feel amazing when I’m beside you. When I look at you, when I hold you, it all feels right. There’s memories, things trying to come out, and - and I can feel them exploding inside me whenever I get close to you. I know it’s there, I just need to wait for it to remind me.” He spoke fast, cradling Keith and leaning in to pepper kisses all over the omega’s cheeks. “I won’t force us to be apart. I won’t, because we need this. I remembered something after we spent that whole week being inseparable, so…” Sighing, Shiro got a genuine smile out. “There’s no reason for me to not let you be beside me.”

 

“I can still work on not being so overbearing.” Keith chuckled. “I… I’m glad you want me, Shiro. I thought you would push me away and we wouldn’t ever be close like that again… so, thank you.”

 

Reaching for the tissue box on the coffee table, Shiro slowly dabbed a tissue over Keith’s cheeks. “This has been the most… confusing time of my whole life.” He crumpled the tissue up before grabbing another to dry his own face. “I know you told me that the doctor said exposure therapy doesn’t work, and I just have to wait, but… I can’t help but feel like. You’re helping me remember, by just being here.” Keith smiled, and Shiro tossed aside his second tissue before running a thumb over Keith’s lower lip. “I’m really happy I didn’t try to leave. I’m happy I stayed, happy that I’m getting to know you… well, I guess for the second time, huh?”

 

“It’s the first for you again.” Keith smiled. “I remember way back when, meeting you… you scared off a bunch of crows that I was drawing. I was so angry.”

 

“I read that in my old journals.” Shiro laughed. “I think me, back then, fell in love with you right there.” A moment of quiet, just the two of them smiling and staring into each other’s eyes. “I know I did.”

 

A small flush dusted Keith’s skin, and the omega couldn’t help the shy giggle. “I’ll have to ask you about it once you’re back.” He leaned into Shiro, nuzzling his neck. “Promise me that you’ll come back…?” The request was quiet, but Shiro heard, and tightened his arms around Keith.

 

“I promise I’ll come back, Keith.” Shiro replied just as quiet. “Nothing in this world is more important to me right now than coming back to you, coming back home.” He had nothing else in his current state. No parents, no school, none of his friends aside from Matt. Shiro only had Keith to come home to. 

 

He wanted,  _ needed  _ more of these memories to surface. No matter how painful they were, he would overcome it. Shiro wanted this, wanted all seven years of the life he forgot back. Even just remembering the love he held for Keith, that would be enough for him. Grounding himself, Shiro slowly stood up from the couch with Keith and ran soothing hands over the omega’s shoulders, down his arms, until he clasped small and warm hands in his own. 

 

“We can do this, Keith. Together, always.”

 

“Always.” Keith smiled, leaning up on his toes to meet his husband in another kiss.

 

The rest of the day ran relatively smooth, all things considered. Shiro was scheduled to get the stitches out of his nose the next day, and then most likely check in with his doctor to make sure he wasn’t regressing. Shiro was looking forward to telling people he remembered something, although he truly didn’t want to divulge the details of what he did remember. Shiro sat in his study, mulling over thoughts and trying to avoid thinking about Keith’s miscarriage. It still sent a sharp, raging pain through his core, but he was cried out for the rest of the day.

 

Keith stayed home from work, given their morning. He and Shiro were only apart when Keith decided he needed to deep clean the house to air out the emotions from earlier, and thus, Shiro sat himself in his study and read through some more of the journals he hadn’t yet cracked open. Almost every entry was detailing dates he and Keith went on, and Shiro never quite realized how much of a romantic he really was before Keith came into his life.

 

That omega brought out the best in him, and even lacking the many memories they have together, Shiro could tell. Sparks and fire and lightning filled his very being by just being in the same room as him. It was like a restless anxiety that screamed for Shiro to get up and hold Keith, touch him, anything. His body went through motions, muscle memory, that Shiro didn’t think of until Keith told him that he’d done his usual morning routine from before his accident.

 

By simply living, going about life not thinking about how he’d lost so much time, Shiro was gradually learning and remembering the life he had with Keith almost passively. Even the morning he went to get his stitches out, Shiro had gone on his same jogging route. He made pancakes, even fooled around with Keith despite Keith’s worry about him passing out again. It was almost humorous how subconsciously, he just knew what to do.

 

Weeks went by without Shiro even realizing it. It wasn’t until Keith told Shiro that the company he worked for, before his accident, wanted to retrain him for the position he held. That was something that Shiro wasn’t entirely sure he’d be able to do, but he was willing to give it a shot. The person who took his place in the interim was more than happy to speak to Shiro, to get him back on his feet in the company by any means possible.

 

“I must have been high up there, huh?” Shiro had asked, looking over a huge booklet while Keith drove them back home.

 

“You were one position away from being the general manager at that office.” Keith told him with a nod. “You were trying for a promotion before the accident happened. Both of us together make more than enough, but you’ve always liked to go above and beyond.”

 

“I’m pretty competitive.” Laughing, Shiro skimmed over the first page of the booklet again. “It sucks that I’m not doing anything with my astrophysics degree, though. I spent a long time in school for that.”

 

“It was a tough industry.” Keith told him. “You use enough of it at the office, though. You have a lot of math to do there.”

 

Chuckling, Shiro closed the booklet and set it on his lap. “I’ve always wanted to go to space, or like, build rockets.” He said. “Go to the moon, or another planet. It’s been my dream since I was a little kid.”

 

With a fond smile, Keith pulled into their driveway and turned to look at his alpha. “I’ll always support your dreams. You always talked about space, and I love it. Even if maybe I don’t fully understand all the technical bits to it… I was an arts major, after all.” He giggled as he got out of the car.

 

Shiro followed the omega inside, still folding the booklet around in his hands. “I hope I’m able to pick all of this up. I don’t want to bring them down anymore than I already have, since I’ve been gone for so long.”

 

“You used to work at home a lot, but I’m guessing that they’re going to train you in the office again, until you’re back on your feet there.” Keith pondered as he toed off his shoes. “I loved you being home all the time. Whenever I had time off work, we could do whatever we wanted as long as you didn’t have a deadline.” 

 

“Sounds lovely, Keith.” Shiro purred, kissing the shorter man’s neck, teasing a pinch on a round cheek before heading to the kitchen. “What should we do for lunch?” He asked, immediately opening the fridge to scan its contents. “Chicken, beef… maybe some mac and cheese?” He suggested.

 

“I can do mac and cheese.” Keith smiled. “You have to make it, though. I’ll burn it if I try.” He leaned against the counter, then easily lifted himself up to sit on it while Shiro was grabbing a pot to cook with. “Your nose is looking a lot better.” 

 

Glancing up for a second, Shiro smiled. “Thanks. I know they said it would scar, but I was… I guess, surprised? That it was so deep.” Filling the pot with water, he then started the burner before placing it on the stove top. “The scar tissue itches a lot.”

 

“You’ll have that.” Keith smiled. “It won’t be so itchy or tender after a few more weeks.” Scooting a little closer to Shiro, the omega tapped his fingers on his knees. “I… I think it’s really handsome. You look really, really attractive with it.”

 

Snorting, Shiro turned his attention away from the pot of water and towards Keith. “Do I look distinguished, or something?” With a hand running over Keith’s thigh, he slowly moved those legs apart to stand between them. “It’s kind of got a bad-boy vibe, doesn’t it?”

 

The was a moment where something glinted in Shiro’s eyes, something a bit on the hungry side, and Keith shivered. “You’ve always been very distinguished.” He started, both hands grabbing either of Shiro’s. “Mmh, but bad-boy? I suppose you could call it that. You look like you could tear me in half.”

 

“Want me to?” Shiro squeezed both hands into the thick meat of Keith’s ugger thighs, smirking as hunger boiled into the base of his hardening cock. 

 

“How about after we eat, hm?” Keith teasingly moved Shiro’s hands up to his hips before leaning in to kiss him. “The water’s boiling.”

 

It was almost comical how Shiro quickly moved off of Keith so he could pour in the boxed mac. He stirred it, staring at Keith. “I almost forgot all about lunch.” Shiro laughed. “Almost wanted to eat something else.”

 

“We can save that for dinner tonight.” Keith hopped off the counter, moving to Shiro’s side. “Or maybe dessert?” With a kiss to Shiro’s cheek, the omega got a greedy handful of his mate’s firm ass. “I’m gonna find a movie to watch.”

  
Shiro grinned as he watched Keith walk away, wanting so badly to spank him red. Sadly, he had food to make. He could wait a few more hours. Humming, he went back forth with stirring the mac and reading the first few pages of the booklet he got from work. Within a few more minutes, Shiro was the straining the noodles and adding so much cheese that he considered calling it “cheese with a  _ side _ of mac”. Either way, it tasted divine. Handing Keith a bowl after sitting on the couch, things just felt right in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!
> 
> Be sure to check me out on Twitter @bttomkeith and check out my pinned tweet for more of my social media ❤


	6. Chapter 6

Shiro groaned as he pulled Keith’s hips back against his own, burying his cock balls deep inside of the omega’s hole. He was soaked with sweat from his morning run, and little droplets fell from his forehead and onto Keith’s lower back with every thrust inside of him. The omega always sounded so pretty when they had sex, always so perfect and somehow just knew all the ways to make Shiro feel amazing. Granted, they had seven years of a relationship to figure it out, but to Shiro it was like a whole new floodgate being opened each time they fucked.

It had now been, officially, four months since Shiro had woken up in the hospital. Four months living with Keith, his mysterious husband who he had no memory of due to his brain trauma induced amnesia. Every day since he’d remembered the miscarriage that Keith had, Shiro had gradually began to remember other piece of memories. None of them were quite as impactful, but it was a step in the right direction.

Shiro remembered Keith’s parents names, remembered anniversary dates, vacations they went on. Specific details of any trip they went on were foggy, or Shiro couldn’t remember at all. But the destinations, the length of time they spent, and whether or not they enjoyed the trip were almost always accurate. Shiro was thankful that he also had his journals to turn to in case he needed to make sure the memories he was remembering were accurate, and Keith was always there to clarify and answer questions.

“Gonna cum.” Shiro moaned, and Keith whined a sweet little _yes_ as he fucked himself back on his alpha’s dick, until warm seed spilled deep inside his hole. Shiro felt like a new man, like things were finally looking up. He’d recover from this, he knew it.

Slipping out of Keith, the two of them rolled beside each other in bed and shared a quick but warm kiss. “You need to shower.” Keith giggled. “I do too, but you have work soon.”

“I know, I know.” Shiro nuzzled his nose into Keith’s hair and kissed him once again. “Sorry I’m so sweaty.” Standing up, he pulled the omega’s hands until both of them were on their feet and walking into the bathroom. “Shower with me, baby.”

Once the bathroom door was shut, however, Keith just slipped to his knees and took Shiro’s half-firm cock into his mouth.

Every day had been like this, and Shiro didn’t mind. In fact, he was more than happy to service and be serviced by Keith every night and after he’d come home from his run. They’d grown close over the last four months, which went without saying. They lived together, and even though Shiro had previously had issues with Keith hovering and being too attentive, they worked on it. Now, the alpha always wanted to be beside Keith. Nothing in the world made him feel as alive as he did when he was laying in bed with Keith every day.

Keith always told Shiro he loved him, without fail. There was still an issue that Shiro had with saying it himself, but Keith understood that and was never mad about it. He’d never be upset with Shiro not being ready to say he loves someone he had just met and moved in with four months ago, after a traumatic incident and the stress of being an amnesiac. Shiro was so thankful for Keith, and he _did_ love him, but a lot of that feeling was still contained within his memories. He was still learning and becoming comfortable with too many things in his life to feel like he truly could love and devote himself to Keith the way the old Shiro was able to do.

One such thing, that Shiro was still learning and becoming comfortable with, was his job. The office he worked at required so much paperwork, so much math, so many people to call and talk to about work related things. He hardly had any time to himself, aside from his lunch break. Shiro would always just call or text Keith and tell him that, while he was picking it back up, he still felt like it was difficult to be working at such a high level for a job he truly hadn’t considered he’d ever have in the past. 

Recovering from his amnesia was taking a lot of time. Seven years of memories wouldn’t come back in four months, and sometimes the things he did remember would be something simple or silly. Like how Lance’s last name is McClain, or how Pidge and Hunk went to Disney for their honeymoon, or that Allura’s favorite movie was the Princess Bride.

Not that remembering little things about the friends he had before his memory loss was a bad thing, but they weren’t the things that Shiro was most eager to remember. He’d gotten to re-meet all of his and Keith’s mutual friends once the initial shock of his amnesia had mostly died down. Shiro was happy to get to know these people again, but that could always come again with time. He was most concerned with getting back into work, remembering something considerably more important than how to be social.

Being competitive was always in Shiro’s nature, since he was little. He broke sports records in high school, was in all honors with straight A’s and enough credits and scholarship offers to get him into any college he could have wanted. He stayed close to his parents, though, and went to a good school in Arizona. It was the one thing he thought he could finally take the time to skimp on, and he was glad he did. Shiro got to meet Keith because he went somewhere local to further his schooling, and he wouldn’t trade anything for that. He wouldn’t have wished for anything different.

However, that competitive spirit never died because he got married and became an amnesiac. Shiro worked hard at this job, took it seriously, and he wanted to prove that bringing him back despite his memory loss was not a mistake on his employer’s part. He’d been given plenty of room to readjust, and he’d be damned if he didn’t get back on his feet in half that time.

He’d grab this bull by the horns and throw it to the ground if it meant being a good mate and alpha for Keith again. Shiro wanted to come back, remember everything, make Keith the happiest omega in the whole world again. So far, he was doing a mighty fine job, if he wanted to toot his own horn.

Shiro typed away at his computer with the interim manager helping him along with questions and concerns. He’d spend a nice eight hours at the office, sometimes a bit longer if he was really determined to get everything finished before heading home. It felt good; working hard and knowing that every day he was making improvements. He was doing this for himself and for Keith, and that alone was enough to keep him focused.

The alpha would be home at around 5:00pm every day, and Keith would be walking inside roughly an hour later. Shiro was always happy to get started on dinner so that he and Keith could catch up over their meal. He made a nice, big batch of pasta just swimming in alfredo sauce, along with shrimp and mushrooms.

The sound of the door unlocking, opening, and closing was in perfect time with Shiro setting two bowls of pasta onto the kitchen table. “Welcome home, Keith!” He called out while fishing a bottle of white wine from the fridge. He had it uncorked and poured into two glasses before Keith even set foot into the kitchen. “Bon appetit?”

Keith’s bashful smile always lit up Shiro’s world. “I should be used to this by now, but it’s always so nice to come home to.” Taking a wine glass from his mate’s hand, Keith leaned on his toes to kiss him. “How was work?” He asked after seating himself. “This looks amazing, Shiro.”

“Work was good.” He answered, after swallowing a forkful of pasta. “I’m making leaps and strides, apparently. I’m not taking this opportunity they gave me for granted.”

“I’m proud of you.” Keith smiled, soft and fond. “You’ve always been able to do anything you put your mind to.” Sipping at his wine, he and Shiro shared a warm stare before he took a bite of his dinner. “My next heat is coming soon, Alpha.”

Shiro felt a firmness between his legs, and exhaled hard. “I can tell. You’re scent is a lot stronger.” He smiled behind the rim of his wine glass. “I guess that explains why we couldn’t get enough of each other this morning.”

“I guess so.” Keith smirked. “My heats are going to be less often since I’m on suppressants now. I’m adjusting to them still, but I’m supposed to go from every month, to every three months. I didn’t get on the strongest suppressants just yet. I need to work up to those.”

“Can you still get… y’know…?” Shiro’s tone quickly went some dark to curious, and he leaned forward as he continued to eat. “Since you’re still having heats sometimes, does that mean it could still happen?”

“I can, it’s just really low.” Keith shrugged. “But, my birth control pills should make that tiny margin even smaller. I don’t think we have anything to worry about, Shiro.” He smiled at his husband, before looking down at his bowl. “This is really amazing, baby.”

“I’m glad you like it.” Shiro stared for a moment at Keith’s face, before distracting himself with his glass of wine, which was becoming much too low for his liking. “I’m sorry you’re making yourself get on birth control and suppressants just for me.” He mumbled, feeling something curl in his stomach.

Keith tore his gaze away from his food to stare at Shiro. “I’m not making myself do anything I didn’t want to do.” He started. “This is the best option for us right now. Neither of us are ready for any happy accidents or puppies.” He smiled reassuringly at the Alpha, reaching out to hold his hand. “Shiro, I promise you that I’m not forcing myself to do this. Okay?”

For a moment, Shiro felt that all too familiar prick of tears at his eyes, but quickly shook it away. “Okay. I’m sorry, I just…” He sighed, setting his fork down into the bowl and sitting back. “I think about it, all the time. I think about a lot of the things I’ve remembered, all the time.” His eyes flicked from Keith, to his food, to his hands, and back up to Keith. “I don’t know why it’s taking me so long to remember happier things, more important things.”

“They’ll come, Shiro.” Keith offered. “You’ve remembered a lot of things, and it doesn’t matter that they aren’t always specific to us. Any memory is worth remembering.”

Nodding slowly, Shiro leaned forward again and grabbed his fork. “You’re right. I’m… I’m not trying to be a pessimist, I just… I want this to come faster. I want to remember _everything,_ Keith.”

“You have no idea how badly I want you to remember everything, too.” The omega stared with violet eyes, warm and soft and calming when Shiro met them with his own. “It’s a process. It’ll take time. All things take time, and everything will be fine in the end.”

“Keith…” Shiro breathed, eyes closing for a moment as a sharp pain shot through his temple. “Fuck… you’re right. I remember so much more than I did four months ago, I…” He winced, grabbing the side of his head. “I…”

Within a second, Keith was on his feet and steadying Shiro in his seat. “Are you okay?” He asked, watching his mate’s jaw clench and fingers dig into short, black hair. “Shiro, please talk to me.”

“I…” His breath hitched in his throat as familiar fog clouded his mind, but Shiro forced his eyes open so he could look at Keith, panting softly and feeling short of breath. White flooded his mind, music and sunlight and red flowers. Shiro stood at the altar, watching Keith in his beautiful gown walking towards him with a bouquet of roses in his hands. Shiro remembered the lightness in his chest, the pounding of his heart, the smile and the flushed face as they exchanged vows and rings and, finally, a kiss. He recalled perfectly the song they shared their dance to - _A Thousand Years_ by Christina Perri. Their song.

“Hey, what happened? Did you remember something? Why are you staring at me?” Keith asked in quick succession, holding his husband’s face in both hands. “What did you remember?” He asked after a moment of silence, voice soft.

“I remember the wedding, your dress, you looked so beautiful.” Shiro gasped, feeling his throat tighten a bit. “You always look beautiful, but especially that day.” He knew the pictures in that photo album, with all the wedding pictures in it, but now it was like he walked into those pictures and lived it out in real time. Hours and hours of that day poured into his mind like cold water to soothe his nerves and insides. “I married you. We’re married…!” Shiro laughed, dumbfounded.

Keith wasn’t expecting Shiro to pick him up and spin him around in his arms. He laughed and giggled with the alpha, allowed the kisses and the tight arms around his waist. “How much of it did you remember?” He asked, excitedly.

“All of it.” Shiro replied, quickly. “I know it. The whole ceremony, the dance, you shoving cake into my mouth, Allura catching your bouquet, everything.” He was panting, mind still rather numb and hazy, but that wasn’t stopping him. “You looked beautiful in those pictures, but… the real thing, remembering the actual dress… wow.” He half-laughed out something airy and soft. “I can’t believe I was able to marry someone as perfect as you.”

Keith’s eyes got watery and glassy as he let all of it sink in. Sniffling and rubbing at his cheeks, he then buried himself into Shiro’s chest. “I love you, Takashi.” He whimpered out. His shoulders quaked and trembled as emotions got the better of him, and his alpha was more than happy to comfort and hold him.

“I couldn’t have wanted a better wedding for us.” Shiro whispered between Keith’s cries. “I remember our song, too.” He added, smiling into black hair as he began to sway with his omega in his arms. He hummed softly into Keith’s ear, to the tune of the words. “Heart beats fast, colors and promises.” Shiro whispers as he cradles his omega closer. “How to be brave; how can I love when I’m afraid to fall.” He giggles when Keith squeezes both arms around his shoulders, still sniffling.

Shiro stopped his humming for a moment, in favor of gazing onto Keith’s face. “You’re beautiful.” He said, despite all the tears and redness on his husband’s skin. His humming resumed, soft as Keith buried his face into the crook of Shiro’s neck; right where his mark is. “I have died everyday waiting for you.” He whispered, closing his eyes and taking hold of one of Keith’s hands, while his other stayed against his lower back. “Darling, don’t be afraid. I have loved you for a thousand years…” Shiro giggled when Keith hummed along. “I’ll love you for a thousand more.”

Keith pulled Shiro into a slow dance, listening to the alpha hum quietly into his ear and press kisses to his hair. “I love you.” Keith mumbled again.

“I love you too.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are always appreciated <3
> 
> check me out on twitter @bttomkeith and make sure you peep my pinned tweet for more info about my socials and fics <3

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer:
> 
> I am not a doctor and I DO NOT claim to know what I'm talking about in regards to amnesia. I have never had it and I have never met anyone who has suffered from it. All my knowledge is coming from about two days of basic researching online, so I absolutely do not think I have any right to say I know anything more than some very basic things about the science and psychology behind it. I'm going to keep my technical things to a minimum and focus on the story more than making sure I'm able to explain amnesia 100% perfectly. That being said, if you know any important information regarding amnesia, please leave me a comment! I'm going to make sure I keep it as close to what it is based on my very limited knowledge, but I'm a human and I make mistakes. 
> 
> \--
> 
> Twitter: bttomkeith   
> Tumblr: tigatrons (multifandom) / pyriphlegethons (writing)
> 
> Comments and Kudos are always appreciated!


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